Breaking Dawn the unwritten book
by vampireloveaffair17
Summary: Okay I realize the title doesn't make any sense at all but book 2 of breaking dawn was in Jake's mind and I reallyy wanted to know what Bella was thinking on the plane. Bella's POV of her pregnancy with renesmee *Dont read if you haven't read BD
1. Chapter 1 Nudger

**Okay so no one seemed to have this story out and dang it-it bugged me(: review. **

Breaking Dawn

Bella

Book 2

Nudger

Edward cradled me in his strong stone arms. The cool breeze whisked by calming my heated face. But neither of these facts I could pay attention to. There was only one thing on my mind-my nudger.

The bump was small. If you looked closely you would just think I was bloated. However, I knew my baby was real even if no one else did. Edward's earlier words rang into my ear.

_"We're going to get that thing out of you before it can hurt any part of you." _

He called my sweet little nudger a _thing._

I wanted bury my face and cry in frustration. This baby was a symbol of Edwards and my love for each other. I loved it the instant I knew it existed. But he wanted to _kill_ it.

Abortion.

I had no real opinion on the topic. But now I seemed to want to defend the mothers who wanted their baby's to live. At least, I wanted mine to.

I didn't care if this baby would kill me. One, I knew venom would save me.

Two, I knew, undoubtedly, that I would willingly die for this baby. It was just like saying I would willingly die for Edward — which, I would.

Edwards cool lips pressed against my forehead bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked around momentarily confused. It took a moment before I realized I must have been so distracted I hadn't noticed the boat ride back to the port.

Edward scooped me up after handing the luggage to the taxi driver. I felt my stomach heave as the motion of the boat moving subsided. Edward steadied me gently.

"Careful, love." he rubbed my arm.

That was more affection then I would probably see in the next year after Edward found out what I did. I had called Rosalie and she assured me Edward would not touch the baby if I didn't allow him. I knew her willingness to be a mother herself would tend to work in my favor.

I smiled sheepishly at Edward as he helped me in the taxi careful not to move me too much. If he only knew I had planned on keeping the baby he'd seal me up in a bubble wrap prison.

I sighed as Edward let me get comfy against his cool body. I was already exhausted from the morning sickness. He wrapped his cool arms around my body and I drifted off to sleep.

It seemed moments later that the taxi lurched to a stop. I blinked and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Edward didn't pay any attention to me as he got out of the taxi and handed the driver foreign money before taking both our bags in his hands.

I slipped out of the seat and felt a small flutter in the pit of my stomach. My nudger. I smiled before Edward turned around looking worried. I quickened my pace, realizing I had stopped moving.

The airport was a buzz of energy. People were rushing back and forth. Edward didn't seem to be effected by the current environment even though I knew mentally he probably was already a mess.

Neither of us talked while Edward received the tickets and handed over our luggage. Our plane was just boarding. Thankfully, Edward and I had no chance for a discussion of any sort.

Part of me was worried about him. He moved a little quicker then I was able to and his face was blank—almost lifeless. I wanted to talk to him but then again part of me didn't want to. I was a terrible liar. Edward would find out of my plans and stop me.

Despite my undying love for Edward, this baby was a reminder of the simple truth—he loved me. This baby would be the only living truth of that if something were to happen to me. Couldn't Edward see that?

This was our baby — my little Edward.

I never originally planned on being a mother. But it was until now that I could really picture myself as one. I could see myself making pbj's for my adorable Edward as he ran off to catch his bus to school. I could see his adorable small-toothed grin as his big green eyes told me he loved me.

Suddenly, I realized I wanted that. I must have been in thought too long again, because my stomach gave a loud growl reminding me that I had yet to eat anything.

I looked over as Edward leaned down withdrawing a small bag of pretzels I had asked him to pack. I took the bag and placed it in my lap. After about three pretzels I realized it tasted off—it needed something.

"Hey Edward," I whispered.

Edwards head snapped up from a magazine he had brought as a prop. I laughed, mentally of course.

Awkwardly I asked, "Can I have a lemon?"

Edward looked at me funny for a moment before he reached above him pressing a small blue button. A light dinged in response and I saw a small petite blonde waitress appear.

"Well hi sugar you need anything?" she answered in a southern drawl.

I smiled. "Can I have a lemon?"

"Why sure thing sweet pea." she handed me a half a lemon along with a few napkins and a small cup of water.

I thanked her and after she left I took the pretzel and stabbed in to the lemon before popping it into my mouth. The salty sour tang filled my craving.

It was until I had started eating my third pretzel that I noticed Edward was watching me with a slightly confused look on his face.

"I heard about cravings but, Bella seriously-lemons and pretzels?"

I smiled laughing at myself since I knew he would find nothing about this humorous.

"Don't knock it till you try it." I mumbled weakly explaining myself.

He made a squeamish face at the lemon covered pretzel I held up to him and looked back at the magazine, pretending like he was more interested in that then in me.

It wasn't long before the nausea hit. I scrambled for the bathroom nearly tripping flat on my face. I hurriedly locked myself in the tiny bathroom and became sick.

After I had thoroughly rinsed out my mouth and whipped off my face, I headed back for my seat.

The stewardess from earlier eyed me pitifully as I surfaced from the bathroom.

"Apples helped me when I had my little boy," she murmured. "Green apples and seltzer."

I smiled weakly at her, shifting awkwardly. "Um, thanks. It just started and we're heading home."

"No problem sweet pea. You need anything just ring," she winked at me and I turned on my heel heading back for my seat.

Edward eye's bored into my head as I walked back down the isle to my seat. It was stupid, but it sort of felt like it was our wedding all over again. Just like our wedding Edward's eyes only looked at me, they only saw me. I smiled as I neared our seats just when I was about to sit, I felt another flutter in my stomach. I froze in mid-squat.

Edward gasped and his eyes widened in fear as if I were dying. I could already see the fresh panic fill his facial features as I continued frozen in mid-air. Part of me wanted, desperately, to reassure him that I was fine. Yet, another part of me wanted to marvel in the feeling.

Finally, when I felt the sensation fall, I sat. My legs ached and I realized I had probably been half-standing half-sitting for a while. Edward's eyes were fixated forward and I saw his tendons in his hand bulge out from the granite-like skin. Felling a small pang of guilt I stretched my hand out and rubbed it along his carefully.

I heard Edward take in a deep breath and I felt him relax against my touch.

"I'm fine," I murmured reassuringly.

After Edward was calm enough I looked out the tiny window. White tuffs of clouds cleared and I saw a brilliant sun set lingering in view. The sky looked magnificent, almost like a painting. The sky held a mixture of shaded of red and orange. Both swirled and mixed together in perfect harmony.

I felt another pang of guilt when I remembered this was what I always wanted for Jacob and Edward. Neither of them fought over the sun, both just hugged it peacefully accepting it for who it was.

I shook my head, clearing the thoughts and fixed my eyes back out, trying defectively, to forget Jacob Black—my_ ex-_best werewolf friend.

I felt yet another flutter in my stomach. I knew the bump was probably very minimal in size but I couldn't help the over powering urge I felt to feel the flutter externally too.

Eagerly, I placed my hand against the small bump forming on my stomach. I felt a flutter in my stomach but this time I felt it on my hand too. My jaw dropped and I could feel hot tears welling up in my eyes.

I felt cold hands on my face not a second after I felt the hot tears.

"Bella are you okay? Are you hurt? Is something"— Edward began a stream of hurried anxious questions.

I cut him off, "—I'm…" marvelous, ecstatic, awed, shell-shocked, giddy, amazed "Fine." I finally spit out.

Edward obviously, refused to believe me. I rolled my eyes at the Edward type move and part of me was thankful he hadn't exactly turned into a self-loathing monster…at least—not yet.

He placed both of his cold hard hands on my face and examined my eyes checking for any sign of danger or pain. I sighed and relaxed against his soothing cool touch. His golden eyes started into mine intently and I felt a familiar electricity shoot through my veins. I blushed and grabbed one of Edward's hands that lay on my cheek. Remembering what I wanted him to feel too I tugged on his hand and lowered it to my stomach.

His hand stopped mid-reach and I looked over at him in confusion. To be honest I was a little hurt by his rejection. Did he not want to see that I wanted him to know this being too? Even if he believed it was a _monster, _would he never want to hold our baby in his arms? Would he never want to love it like I did?

Edward sighed and I felt tears well up in my eyes. I was being over dramatic but I knew part of it was the hormones and part of me really was hurt.

"Bella, love, what is wrong?" Edward velvet voice sang.

I shook my head and dropped his hand from my grip. Edward's strong hand pulled my face up to meet his gaze and his thumb brushed the tears off my face.

"What were you trying to show me love?" Edwards's voice was low enough so that only I could hear.

"Never mind," I murmured nonchalantly, "It doesn't matter."  
He frowned, "Please show me," he whispered into my ear, his cool breath tickled my ear.

I sighed and took his hand and placed it over the small bump on my stomach. We both waited in silence for a few minuets before I felt a small flutter.

Edward gasped and tore his hand away from my stomach. His face was angled away from mine but I could still see his jaw muscles clenched tightly.

It was official. My worst fear had been confirmed. Edward didn't want our child.

**Author's Note: (: hope you liked it. Review! **


	2. Chapter 2 Esme's Love

**Author's Note: WOW (: um… nothing to say expect…review?**

Breaking Dawn

Book 2

**Bella**

The plane began to descent just as the sun disappeared from view. My stomach was flipping with my own nerves. I nearly bit my lip off because of it.

Edward would completely freak out when he found out I was staying pregnant. I stared at the fading stars in the sky and silently I prayed that Edward would want to keep the baby too. The stars faded slowly from my view and I felt the plane began to dip lower and lower back to earth. It felt sort of like how my life was now.

I was crashing back to reality after being in heaven for so long. I whispered goodbye to my heaven as I came back down to earth. I knew I would go back to heaven eventually, but for now I was forced to live without that kind of grace. My heaven was when Edward smiled happily, when, for a short period of time, Edward didn't hate himself and everything was okay.

The plane finally came to a stop and I looked over at Edward. He didn't look back at me. Edward just stood up and reached for our carry-on's. I felt sick at the thought that he'd never look at me when I was noticeably pregnant. Angry I flipped open the clasp of the seat belt and stood. Edward eyed me but I knew it was only because he was afraid I might fall.

I rolled my eyes and made my way to the terminal. The first thing I could see was Esme's wide smile but her eyes told me a different story. Pure worry was nearly rolling off of Esme in waves. I could also see a little hurt. At first I was confused before I remembered she had lost her baby. My smile faded and I looked at Edward and he was staring at Carlisle intently. Worried I ran to the one person I knew would protect me.

I ran right into Rosalie's stone cold arms. Hot tears were freshly rolling off of my cheeks. Yes I felt bad for running to Rosalie's arms when I craved Edward desperately but how could I run to someone who I loved yet didn't love the one thing that mattered most to me.

Esme's smooth stone-cold arms wrapped comfortingly around both me and Rosalie's bodies and I was sandwiched between two vampires. The simple fact would scare anyone else with a rational mind. But, then again, I never did have a rational mind.

Hot tears rolled freely down my cheeks and sobs broke loose from my chest. I knew why I was acting hysterical. Edward, my eternal love that I would willingly die for, didn't want our baby. Part of me feared he didn't want the baby to be marred by my unruly humanness. I cried harder when I realized this was probably true. I was disturbing next to Edwards's perfection. I didn't deserve to have his perfect child ruined by my ugliness.

I didn't feel myself being moved until the cold wind bit at my face. I had forgotten that it had been so long since our wedding that Forks would lose its summer warmth. Shivering I looked up to see Esme's small body carrying mine. Shocked I fumbled around trying to get to my feet so Esme wouldn't be burdened with carrying me.

Esme frowned at me and held me tighter to her body, "Hush now, it's alright Bella. I can carry you just fine. But I could set you down if you really wanted me too." I saw Esme's lovely face fall and my heart squeezed in my chest. Someone as loving as Esme, should never frown. It seemed almost painful to look at Esme when she frowned. It was like looking at a crying child. It hurt to see them cry.

"It's okay Esme. I just don't want you to be burdened by my body. I can walk." I stated remorsefully.

Esme's charming laugh calmed me down so I wasn't crying as bad as before. The tears were starting to fall down faster, yes, but at least now I was quieter. I leaned back against Esme's hard chest and sighed comforted by the coolness of her skin against my fevered skin.

By the time all of us had reached the car, which took all of three minuets, since all the vampires had to walk at an annoying human pace, my stomach had started to churn. I scrambled to get free of Esme's arms. I would _not _throw up on Esme. She seemed to be confused at first before I think she heard the vomit enter my esophagus and she set me on my feet and scooped up my hair into her hands, keeping it out of my face as I became violently sick yet again.

When I was done I felt weak and my legs trembled, threatening to give out under me. Rosalie steadied me and held my arms so I didn't fall. After I had cleaned off my face I felt myself go weak. Esme picked me up again and carried me slowly into the open door of the black Mercedes.

The ride home was silent. I could see Edwards glare reflecting off of the tinted windows of the Mercedes. I knew he hated himself, but, I couldn't seem to understand how he wouldn't want to have our little baby boy. My little EJ was everything I would ever want in a baby. His big green eyes kept smiling at me in my mind. I shuddered at the image of him being there one minuet and then gone the next. My heart nearly stopped in my chest. I couldn't let Edward kill our baby no matter how much he hated himself. I loved this baby-even if Edward didn't. I would give him every inch of my heart I could spare from Edward.

Part of me hoped, stupidly, that once Edward saw our baby, if he could see his big green loving eyes, then he would love him too.

Hot tears started to fall down my cheeks for the millionth time today. Edward wouldn't kill him... He wouldn't take away my baby. But I had nothing to say against it. I didn't know that he wouldn't, I knew that he would want me safe. Even if that meant killing the one thing I loved...the one thing that I wanted more then immortality-my little Edward Jr.

Cool fingers brushed my wet cheek. I looked over at Esme, her loving smile seemed saddened by my tears.

"Esme," I whispered softly, "I can't lose him. I can't lose this baby."

Esme seemed as if it were possible for her to cry she would be. "Sweetheart I know. I want this baby to live too. I know how hard it is to lose a baby," she whispered.

"Esme I'm s-sorry I d-didn't mean t-to make y-you upset." I chocked out.

"Bella, honey, don't worry about it. I missed my baby very much and I will do everything in my power to keep this one alive."

I smiled at my mother and rested my head against her shoulder. I sighed and closed my eyes trying to sleep a little. Suddenly I felt a strong kick hit my stomach. I gasped in pain.

The car jerked to a stop before I could comprehend what was happening. My jaw dropped and my hand flew to my subtly larger baby-bump. Edward was out of the car and opening the door within seconds. He had my seat buckle unbuckled and was lifting my shirt before I could protest. I blushed, as memories from our honeymoon on Isle Esme flooded into my mind. Edward arched an eyebrow at my response and I thought I could have sworn I saw a flicker of amusement cross his face before his eyes lowered to the skin beneath my shirt.

Never in all the time that I knew Edward have I ever seen his eyes go from butterscotch gold to black in a millisecond.

"Rose-" I called worriedly.

Edward was thrown away from my body within seconds. Rosalie stood protectively in front of me and snarled were erupting from both of them.

Curious I looked down to the skin Edward had been looking at. A small patch of blue no bigger then the size of a fingernail was printed just below my bellybutton. I frowned as I realized my stomach looked a little bigger too. Noticeably it stuck out an inch farther then I had seen it when we were at the cottage. The pain returned with a shocking vengeance.

"Guys," I called out weakly, "..._stop_."

The snarls were cut off the moment stop escaped from my lips. My stomach ached horribly and I felt drained. It was almost as if someone had dumped my bucket of energy upside down. I closed my eyes as the pain reached it peak. I bit my lip trying not to scream and torture Edward any further then he already had been. Plus it would prove to be a harder argument when I had bruises covering my stomach.

Rosalie's cool hands stroked my cheeks and she murmured words of hope to me.

"Its…fine," I spoke slowly, "Let's just get home. I miss Alice."

Edward eyed me doubtfully but didn't debate it and got back in the car. Carlisle didn't say anything which shocked me.

As if reading my mind Edward spoke into the silence of the car, "Carlisle will be checking the extent of the pregnancy when we get home."

"No." I protested.

Edward would tell Carlisle to kill him. I loved Edward but I loved our baby too and I wouldn't let Edward kill him.

Carlisle finally spoke, "Bella I will not do anything with your permission first, regardless of what Edward wants." A growl erupted from Edward but Carlisle tattered on determined to remain unfazed by Edwards's rude interruption. "Heaven knows Esme would never look at me if I did take that baby away from you."

Esme smiled a little and I knew she knew he was right. Instantly I felt guilty.

"Esme..." I protested, "You guys cannot fight over me. Regardless, if I'm family or not, I will _not_ be the source of the ruin of a perfect marriage. I couldn't live myself if I ever was."

Esme smiled softly at me as if I had the facts mixed up, "Darling you _are_ family. We love you and we would never want to see you upset. But if we fight it will not be your fault."

I smiled back at her trying to not hurt her feelings. I wanted to protest but I suddenly felt emotionally and physically drained. As if to prove my point my jaw stretched and I yawned loudly into the silence of the car. I blushed at my humanness and looked down at my hands in embarrassment.

Several musical laughs filled the Mercedes, all of them except Edwards, he remained terminally depressed.

"Bella don't be embarrassed. You cannot possibly imagine how much I wish I could do that. How much I want to be tired and yawn and sleep. Bella you have no idea how much I miss sleep." Rosalie frowned.

I laughed weakly and my eyes dropped, "I can imagine." I murmured as my eyes fluttered shut. Before unconsciousness claimed me I let my hands fold protectively against my small, but growing larger, baby bump.

_Goodnight little nudger_. I thought before I drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3 Losing All Hope

**Author's Note: SUPER SORRY!!! It took forever to write this!! I had a dance competition that took all of 5 hours to attend and I had to stay for awards, took an extra hour, and on top of that we had been practically drowning in school work the past week /: but I promise, since it is a weekend, expect TWO, yes that is a 2 T-W-O chapters (: How do ya like them apples? **

**Lol Review(; **

Breaking Dawn

Book 2

**Bella.**

I awoke to find myself atop my family's long black couch. Some part of me wanted to drift of to sleep automatically. It felt sort of like I still couldn't seem to clear the sleep from my mind. As if to prove my point my body felt like a million pounds and all I could do was sit there like a lump.

"_Bella!_" I heard Alice's familiar chipper voice ring through the peaceful silence.

I smiled at my sister and took in her usual chipper aptitude while I still tried to clear the sleep from my mind.

"Hi…Alice," I managed to spit out while yawning.

I heard a loud fierce growl emanate from somewhere nearby. Alice's face twisted in amusement but her eyes seemed a little sad.

"Oh, Edward She's awake silly!" Alice sang happily.

I smiled sighing in relief that at least_ some_ people didn't change due to my recent modification. Mentally, I frowned at that. This precious baby wasn't just a modification…he was so much more… he was my life from now on. My little EJ. I smiled as I felt a familiar flutter in my stomach. Then I remembered something.

"Oh… wait Alice! Come here I want to show you something!" I murmured with as much excitement as my body would allow me due my excessive energy loss.

Alice was wary for a second before she bent down and sat next to me on the large black leather couch. I reached out for her hand and she willingly followed my lead as I lead her to my stomach. Her face crunched up in confusion for a minuet.

"Wait for it…" I persuaded her.

And as if on cue my stomach gave a tiny flutter. I smiled and silently thanked my little nudger. Alice's eyes grew huge and I saw a wide smile fill her features.

"Oh my… Bella it's… it's an actual _baby_. It's…alive." She seemed joyful but at the same time I saw concern fill her eyes and she looked away from my face for a moment before I could have heard her whisper, "Not yet… a little longer… give her time."

I frowned. I knew they were talking about me but what on earth could they be keeping from me?

"Rose"— I called out worriedly.

Before I even had time to finish calling her, Rosalie flashed in front of me.

"Are you okay Bella?" She called out apprehensively.

I smiled at my sister, "I'm fine Rose. But I'd love to know what _my family_ feels they need to keep from me. Since I have very little energy to fight you guys for information until you give in and tell me, would you mind telling me yourself?"

Rosalie sighed and looked at Alice apologetically before she returned her gaze to mine. "I'm sorry they really don't want me to tell you—but I really don't see what good it will do you other then add stress to you and the baby which is the last thing we need to do to you."

As Rose talked one by one each of my family members began to fill the unoccupied spaces left in the family room. By the time Rosalie had finished her short speech, I could feel seven pairs of vampire eyes studying my face carefully.

"Okay," I murmured, "Time to spill. What are you guys are hiding from me?"

Edward stepped up closer to my body and placed his hands on both sides of my face. I stared painfully into my lovers eyes. I loved Edward. Yes, this was true. However, I did not when he would kill our baby.

I couldn't help the sigh of relief as Edwards cool skin came in contact with mine. It felt like I was unconsciously in a sauna and I had been allowed to leave for a moment.

Edward frowned at me and pulled away from me before sitting next to my legs by the couch.

"Tell her…" he said in a monotone voice. "She needs to know."

I frowned and looked at Alice, patiently waiting for her to explain.

"Well," she began slowly, "it's a bit complicated… but do you remember how when you hung out with Jacob and I couldn't see him?"

I nodded. I did remember that a little too clearly for comfort. Every memory of Jake was burned into my mind like a scar I couldn't forget. It hurt to remember him. However it hurt for a different reason then just remembering all those fun times I shared with Jake, despite the fact that all of them took place when Edward was gone. No, the main reason it hurt to remember Jacob was because I still felt guilty for ignoring him and pretending like he didn't exist. I didn't want Jake to suffer because of me. I was causing him pain.

"Earth to Bella!" Alice called retrieving my attention.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts as my attention was refocused, "Sorry what were you saying? I spaced out for a little bit."

Alice just shook her head and laughed at my excuse before she continued on, "So originally we had thought the reason for this was some sort of defense mechanism that was instilled in the pack. But when you were on Isle Esme on your honeymoon," Alice winked at me and I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment as my family gave a round of chuckles, "—I, obviously, knew what was going on Bella but I blocked most of it." She winked at me again and I sighed in relief. "Well a short while before you found out you were pregnant…My vision went black. Just like the time when you jumped off the cliff."

"It was for recreational purposes!" I defended myself for the millionth time on the subject.

Alice rolled her eyes at me and just smiled, "_Sureee_ it was, Bella. Anyway, my vision just went _poof_. I feared that for a moment Edward might have actually lost control"— Alice cut off as she met with Edwards furious glare.

Alice just rolled her eyes at Edward and continued on, "But when I talked to you on the phone you sounded a little distant, but you sounded fine mostly and I knew it had to be something else that was blocking you from my vision. However, I got really confused when you started asking for Carlisle. That really scared me Bella because my vision did go blank and then when I heard you talking about your period…

"Well let's just say I freaked out, which, of course, caused Jazz to freak out. And that lead to the whole family freaking out."

"Oh," I asked with raised eyebrows. I was shocked they thought I would keep something like this from them.  
I looked remorsefully at my family's hurt eyes and instantly I felt guilty.

"I'm so sorry. You guys know that you're my family now, and I'd tell you right away if anything was really up." I stated confidently. "I'm sure Carlisle or Alice could have filled you in if you didn't overhear our conversation on the phone."

My family seemed to ease up as I stated this. I knew they knew it would have been obvious if I was lying, regardless.

"So we figured out that I cannot see something I haven't been. I've been human. I am a vampire. However I haven't been a half human and half vampire or a werewolf."

It clicked in my mind and I realized that it would make perfect sense. Alice hadn't been a werewolf, and, clearly, she couldn't become half human again. I nodded slowly realizing she was probably right. Plus since the baby was apart of my body for the period of my pregnancy then it would make perfect sense for Alice to be unable to see me when the baby started to grow.

"That makes perfect sense. But why is everyone so stressed out?" I asked confused at there overreaction.

"Well… I won't be able to see you," Alice's voice trailed off.

"There something else you guys aren't telling me." I narrowed my eyes accusingly. I saw straight through Alice.

Alice laughed, "Wow Edward. You weren't joking."

Edward, however didn't laugh at Alice's comment. He just sat there, unfazed and frozen like he was on Isle Esme when he found out I was pregnant.

I frowned at Alice, impatient as usual, "Please just tell me." I sighed.

Alice sighed before she spoke softly, "Edward, the whole family, and I want to talk to you about the pregnancy."

"Oh?" I asked.

Carlisle interrupted, "Bella I'd like to do an ultrasound. Just to see if anything comes up, if that's alright with you?"

I considered it for a moment and looked worriedly at Rosalie. She looked back at me and her face mirrored mine. I sighed and looked back at Carlisle knowing he had no ill intentions.

"Okay, but Rose comes too." I argued.

Carlisle nodded in agreement. It was until then that I had remembered an ultrasound machine would be taken in a hospital…with needles.

I gulped and I felt my eyes go wide with fear.

Carlisle frowned at my reaction, "Bella what's troubling you?"

"Aren't…ultrasounds," I managed to spit out, "Erm, normally taken at hospitals?"

Carlisle nodded, "Yes normally they are but I managed to attain some machines from the hospital. One included an ultrasound once I found out that you were pregnant."

I nodded in agreement and I relaxed. It wouldn't be nearly as bad if it were here and I could make Rose stop Carlisle if he tried to do anything to harm the baby—even though I knew he wouldn't ever dream of harming an innocent child. Also Rose could stop him if he tried to poke me with needles. Ugh… _needles_. I shivered.

Carlisle coughed politely trying to attain my attention back to him. I looked over at Rosalie in desperate need of her consent. She shrugged and I took that as a "Whatever." I nodded again and stood. At the moment I had forgotten I had been asleep and being pregnant on top of that was starting to throw off my balance. I stumbled around trying to return my equilibrium. Several pairs of cold hands caught me after mere seconds of my wobbling. After I was sure I wouldn't faint I looked up towards my family.

Different expressions shown on each persons face, however, a common theme seemed to have taken place upon all of them—fear. It seemed unnatural to see a _vampire_ in fear. Who could be a worse predator then a vampire? I shook my head slowly desperately trying to make my mind work like an _Etch-A-Sketch_ thinking that if I shook my head good enough the thoughts would magically disappear.

Carlisle's face held a certain concentration as if he were trying desperately to solve a hard math problem, Esme looked at me pitifully as if she wished she could help, Alice looked confused and irritated, Emmett just smiled, as usual, unaffected by any serious tension filled atmosphere, Rose looked worriedly at me as if she were afraid something might have been wrong with the baby, and Edward… Edward looked like he was ready to kill someone. Only I knew better from the look on his face, he was ready to kill himself for doing this to me. But he refused to see reason when I'd try to tell him I was the one who…erm… induced our physical relations with a little too much enthusiasm.

I sighed breaking the silence. "Okay so I'm fine. You can let go now."

Instantly the cold hands disappeared and my skin ached for the feeling to return. I fumbled for a bit before I managed to make my way to the large staircase. Esme scooped me up, and this time I knew to keep my mouth shut because I knew she wanted to help me as she probably wished someone had been there to help her too.

I frowned, thinking of going through this alone with no one to help me get off the couch or to hold my hair as I became sick. Then again, I was pretty sure no one in history had gone through something like this before. That eased the guilty only fractionally though. I smiled and leaned against Esme's stone cold chest as she leapt from step to step carefully. I knew she was going at a human pace on purpose.

It was later that I found out Carlisle hadn't been kidding when he said he had received some hospital machines. My jaw dropped when I took in the size and vivacity of equipment. It looked like a mini ER room all set up. I could see piles of neatly stacked rows of syringes. Each one was carefully covered by small little plastic tubes. I cringed and averted my eyes to a hospital bed that had been drawn up as if to look like no on had ever sat or even slept in it. Then again, I was living in a house of vampires that didn't sleep.

Shaking my head I headed over to the hospital bed and struggled to get up on it. After several attempts Esme just scooped me up again and set me back down like I was a delicate piece of glass. I smiled at her in thanks even though part of me wanted to roll my eyes. I knew Esme was trying desperately not to injure me past the point I was already. Esme was caring like that. She would anything for any of us—I knew that was true with all my heart. I also knew that no matter how much I protested that she didn't need to Esme would undoubtedly go out of her way for me.

Carlisle coughed, breaking me out of my reverie.

"Bella," Carlisle began comfortingly as if he were trying to coax an unhappy child to stop crying. "This may feel a bit cold."

I smiled, "Nothing I'm not already used to." My eyes wandered over to Edwards self loathing face and I could have sworn I saw a small smile curl up in his lips. I blinked and instantly it was the same grim line.

I sighed as Carlisle picked up a large bottle of gel and smoothly moved my shirt up. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. Only Edward had ever removed my clothes. At least Carlisle had the dignity to stop after reaching my rib cage. Carefully and calmly, as if it didn't bother him at all, Carlisle squeezed a small amount of cool gel onto my stomach.

The frosty gel felt comforting and I fervently wished it was Edward's hand instead of the sticky gel on my stomach. Suddenly, memories of Edward and me intertwined on the sand beach filled my mind and I bit back a smiled and looked up at Carlisle trying to forget the steamy images flashing in my mind.

Thankfully by now Carlisle had the machine up and running. He grabbed a small rounded ball type thing and rubbed it over my lower stomach by my belly button. He then pushed a green button and a small static sound came out of the other end. Carlisle frowned as he moved it lower and the same static sound came out.

Panicked I looked at Carlisle pleading him with my eyes to tell me what was wrong. Instantly I prayed and hoped with all my heart that the baby was okay. I just couldn't imagine losing this baby. I could imagine my life without my little EJ. Despite Edward's presence in my life without a little boy of our own life seemed very…empty. It was like having a glimpse of heaven before you landed in hell.

Carlisle's face smoothened and he eagerly reached for his stethoscope that hung adoringly around his neck. Curiously he placed the smooth cool metal against my sticky skin. I saw Carlisle's eyes widen, for a moment I nearly stopped breathing, before he smiled widely. His eyes light up with the excitement of his newly founded discovery.

Quickly, I looked over at Edward. He no longer smiled, yet his face seemed puzzled with whatever Carlisle had been hypothesizing. For a moment, a mere spilt second in time, Edward didn't seem to hate himself. At least, not as much as had before. It was almost like he was pondering the idea of being a farther, or so I hoped.

Puzzled at what everyone seemed to be keeping from me I decided to speak up.

"What is it?" I asked hesitantly. Unsure if I really wanted to know.

Carlisle smile told me otherwise. "The baby… I can hear its heartbeat. That means Alice's theory is correct. The baby could possibly be human, however it didn't show up on the ultrasound which can really only mean that it must be protected by some sort of vampire protecting."

I nodded my head in agreement with his words. That made sense. The baby would be half me and half Edward. I frowned. I really only wanted our baby to be all Edward. Without all my human flaws on it's beautiful small body. I just couldn't picture my little baby with _my eyes_ or _my hair_. It was practically like trying to picture a tan Edward—I just couldn't do it.

It was awhile before I had noticed the silence in the room became unbearable.

"Can…well—Can we save him? ...Is… is there any way?" I murmured in short cut off sentences, determined not to allow myself to cry for the millionth time today.

Carlisle sighed and ran a hand through his hair, probably a habit since vampires never needed to fix their already perfect hair. "I honestly don't know Bella. If there was anything we could do—" He cut himself off and shook his head at Edward's glare, "Anything to save him I would tell you Bella. I love you and the last thing I want is for Edward to lose both his love and his child."

Edward clenched his jaw tight, clearly upset. I was right, as usual. Edward didn't want our baby. Only before I had, stupidly, had a small fragment of hope now, however, it was clear that I had none. I had hoped that maybe, just maybe, if Edward realized that this baby was...real, that maybe he would reconsider his utter determination to hate the child I already loved with all my heart.

Tear's filled my eyes. I would lose my baby. I already knew that much. My frail human body could not supply the nutrition needed to keep the baby alive. I would lose him.

I would lose my little EJ.

**Author's Note: I cried while writing this part ): seriously I felt really bad for Bella. I mean not only finding out that 1. you would lose this little precious child, but on top of that have to 2 have Edward, EDWARD the love of your life, hate you child is just horrible. **


	4. Chapter 4 State of Mind

**DISCLAMIER: I don't own any of the characters, ect… Stephanie Meyer holds all rights of everything Twilight. (: I am simply using her charters for my own entertainment. **

**Author's Note: WOW I feel horrible!!!! My computer totally crashed this week and my dad didn't get around to fixing it until now!!! ): Superrrrrr sorrryyyyy! (: but here's a new chapter for youuuu… sorry :/**

**p.s. for those of you who lost hope…have faith… this story's just starting (: **

Breaking Dawn

Book 2

Bella

_State of Mind_

I got off of the bed with most of my help from Esme. My heart ached and I felt sick, but not in the physical sense. The simple fact, I would lose my baby, rang through my mind like a mantra.

Edward stayed silent, still probably enlightening the idea of the baby actually being human. Of course, I knew, he would be. Edward just saw things too pessimistically. He thought the baby was a monster like he had drawn up himself to be. However, his self loathing and hatred couldn't be blamed on this innocent baby. It was not his choice to be born into this crazy half-mortal half-immortal existence. He had not a say in the world. I had to be the say for him.

I had to live for this baby. And I would do just that. I would live so I could prove to Edward just how joyful having our baby could be. If Edward didn't want the baby then…

I stopped myself.

The thought of leaving Edward sent a fierce pain through my heart scalding the scar that had been almost healed reminding me of its presence. But, then again, I could not allow Edward to kill this precious child. I could not condone him to ever come close to hurting him. I knew part of me knew that Edward would not ever want to kill the baby once he knew he wasn't a monster.

Instantly I had a flash back to the events that occurred during our honeymoon. Edward and I had been in bed… I had woken up from a dream… I had sobbed begging Edward. My frantic fingers were practically tearing his shirt at the seams. I had needed that.

Edward had given up because he just couldn't say no to me, which, thank god, is how I got to where I was now. If I had not convinced Edward and spent endless hours trying to coax him into the simple idea of making love, I would have never been able to have become pregnant with my little EJ.

Edward Anthony Mason Cullen _Jr_. I smiled. That sounded so lovely. I just sat there and shook my head. Edward would never understand the love that I felt for both his and my child.

Protectively I folded both of my hand over my baby bump. By now anyone could easily tell I was pregnant. And for that I was happy and sad. I was happy because the baby Edward and I both shared would not be a thing to be ashamed of. However, I was sad because not only was it becoming ever more apparent that Edward would never look at me again—at least not while I was pregnant.

Would I never be able to be happy with Edward for longer then two weeks? It seemed unlikely. But could you help me for hoping?

"Are you okay?" A smooth musical voice interrupted my thoughts.

I blinked as my eyes took in Edward's features. I smiled shyly at him.

"I'm fine." I murmured averting my gaze while trying to shift where I sat as I realized my hands were still protectively wrapped over my stomach.

"Are you really?" he whispered painfully.

I nodded weakly and stifled a yawn, "I'm fine. A little tired and hungry. But other then that, I'm fine."

_Fine_ didn't even begin to describe how I was feeling at the present moment. It seemed like such a contradiction compared to my erratic emotions that raced throughout me. I laughed, mentally, at myself as I realized this was probably how a newborn acted.

Not only was I worried I would lose my little baby's precious life, but I was also tired, weak, hungry, sad that Esme had to worry over my constantly, guilt-filled (although I was accustomed to feeling like this all the time), and most of all worried that Edward would simply never accept the fact that we would have a child. I would not allow him to take this innocent baby's life.

Not only did little EJ not deserve that cruel fate but Edward would have to live with that choice for the rest of his life. Another part of my feared that he would realize what a mistake he made staying and he would leave, yet again.

I knew that Edward promised me constantly that he wouldn't ever leave me. However, I had no real proof. It was like a verbal contract, the other person could change the facts anytime they wanted and you wouldn't be able to remember what you had really said.

And on top of that, the fact that Edward still couldn't look at me only proved my point further. He would leave so I was forced to kill the baby for him to return. Only I didn't know which one I would choose. Edward, the love of my existence—all the reasons I had for staying alive, or immortal, that is. Or this beloved little baby who was a reminder every little heartbeat it had that Edward loved me.

Believe it or not my heart had taken a beaten in the past week. I missed Edward's cool embrace more and more. It was really the only thing that ever calmed me down when I became this stressed. My heart throbbed in my chest, it felt slightly hollow and I was reminded of the plane. Did I miss Edward or Jake? Of course, I knew that I immensely missed Edward, but my heart gave an extra squeeze when Jake's name rolled through my mind.

Jake's warm smile flashed through my mind. His teeth gleamed by an unseen sunlight and I shook my head slowly trying to remove the painful image.

"I _miss_ you," I whispered agonizingly into the silence.

To be truthful, I didn't know if my comment was to Edward or Jacob. I suppose it would depend on how you viewed it.

Unexpectedly I felt Edwards cool arms twine comfortingly around my body. I sighed, instantly relieved of all previous painful thoughts that had contained Jake. Whenever Edward was with me like this, it just made everything sort of float away into the backspace of my mind.

The peaceful moment was broken by Edwards pained voice, "I miss you too. I feel like we've become strangers."

I eyed him. He looked pitiful. It was like a small little poor helpless puppy had been kicked when he was down. Guilt instantly flooded me. I bit down on my lip to stop myself from saying something that I would regret. Yes I felt bad now, but I would a thousand times worse if I lost this baby.

"I'm sorry," I finally managed to murmur.

His eyes searched mine for some sign of hope, something to grasp on. But all I could give him was my love, and even that was something I now had to monitor. I shook my head at the insane thought. _Me_ having to be careful _loving Edward_?

The very thought rose bile in my throat. Not a few days ago I could have whole-heartedly argued with the absurd fact. However, now, that Edward didn't want out baby, I just didn't know anymore.

"Edward?" I called for his attention.

His eyes were cast down, looking at the flat palms of his hands that were neatly folded in his lap. I could see pain deep in his eyes. It seemed to eat at him like acid.

"Do…" I began and I almost lost the courage. Almost, but not entirely, "Do…you really n-not want…this…child?"

Edward's eyes instantly hardened staring into mine with anger. "Bella if there was anyway to keep both this baby and you alive, both healthy and you didn't have to risk your life trying to keep this…monster," I gasped and I bit my lip looking down. This baby was NOT A MONSTER!

I felt wetness fill my eyes. Edward stopped as soon as he heard me gasp. I felt cold hands lift my head up. I shut my eyes so I didn't have to look at him. I was too angry even to look at Edward at the moment.

How _dare_ he say that! This baby was not some sick monster! This baby was an innocent little baby!

Instantly I snapped open my eyes and clenched my jaw determined to be angry at Edward.

"HOW DARE YOU EDWARD!" I spat at him mercilessly, part of me, the side that loved Edward unconditionally, said that I should probably clam down before I continued. But the other part of me, the part that wanted this baby alive, fought back with vehemence.

"THIS BABY IS A SIGN OF OUR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER! You want to KILL OUR LOVE?! This baby could not ever be a _monster_! Edward!" I half-sobbed half-yelled, "Don't you want that for us, a little boy to call our own? Even if you believe yourself to be a monster, what about my beliefs? I believe that this baby will not grow up thinking it's a monster. Because I believe that, if given the proper love, he can do anything. Just…" I chocked, "just… l-like I b-believe in you."

I felt Edward freeze half way through my rant. His tense body only pushed me farther. I looked down finally letting the tears fall freely. I did truly believe in him—just like I believe in this baby. I believe that he wouldn't grow up to be a horrible monster like Edward thought.

I felt cold hands cup my cheek. Taking a deep breath I looked into pain filled eyes. I knew Edward was debating. I had only seen that face on his once before, when I was convincing him to finally make love to me. I had the slight urge to blush at the thought but pushed it away as I realized Edward and I were having a moment.

Our eyes connected and I saw deep into Edward vulnerable state-of-mind. I could tell he only ever wanted to give me everything I ever wanted but, as usual, he was trying to keep me safe.

"I don't care if this baby kills me," I murmured to Edward, "I won't ever really die." I smiled weakly, hinting at the life of a vampire.

I saw a ghost of a smile reappear on Edward's face, "'Always so eager for eternal damnation.'" I heard him quote.

**Author's Note: OH GEEZE! Again I'm sooo sorry): but at least you got some fluff at the end right? There's a slight shimmer of hope at the end when Edward's smile reappears. **_**That**_**, I might take a teeny tiny peak into. Review (: **


	5. Chapter 5 Struggle

Authors note: :) new chapterrr. I updated sooner because I know how upset I'd be if I wanted a new chapter and the author took nearly a week to update!! Lol again sorry!!

Breaking Dawn

Book 2

Bella

Struggle

A pair of smooth chocolate brown eyes carefully studied my features in the mirror. My skin that had always seemed to glow seemed dull and ashen. The excited fullness of my eyes, that I had grown accustomed to seeing, seemed faded and worn. My hair lay in a greasy knotted mess atop my head. I didn't bother showering. How could you be clean when you threw up every 2 and a half hour's?

If you looked closely you could still see the Bella I knew everyone had grown accustomed too. Her eyes sparkled with happiness of just being near Edward.

My lips twisted into an unconscious smile. I liked what just being near Edward had done for me.

Now, however, Edward stayed a safe distance away from me. It was as if even looking at me would hurt me somehow.

It wasn't long before I snapped.

"You can look at me 'ya know!" I protested, "I won't die if you say you love me. Or even hug me... I'm dying from the hot flashes."

This was all true. Especially the part about the heat flashes, yes defiantly about the heat flashes. From Carlisle's calculations I was somewhere along my 16th week which would mean four months!! I was already four months pregnant!!

I shook my head a little at my own mental disapproval of not being able to bask in the glory of all that is pregnancy. I wanted—no scratch that, I needed to be sick and get fat and rip Edwards head off for no good reason just so he could kiss me and reassure me that he loved me no matter what.

But of course, as with tradition I am no ordinary person. Hence, the vampire family.

I was never truly met to be normal. I realized that fact early on in my life. I was the only pale one in Arizona for petes-sake!

It seemed normal and typical for me to not have a normal pregnancy or a normal marriage or even a normal life. But that was where Edward came into play. He wasn't normal and he could never be.

The same was true for me. Well, at least now there was no way in hell I'd ever let me be. What with my delicious smelling blood, it was a shock I'd even managed to last this long without some vampire trying to suck me dry.

But, getting back to the point of the matter, Edward barely even glanced at me! Even after what we went through not days ago! Angry, I shook my head and the copy in the mirror reflected my action. I sighed and left the ridiculously large bathroom nonchalantly flipping off the lights as I did.

When I approached the family room I could already hear Emmett's booming voice echo throughout the house. I smiled at the familiar sound and padded my way into the kitchen. My one hand supported my back and pushed out my, now noticeable and quite large, baby bump.

Emmett was in front of me in a flash and he smiled widely at me in a welcome.

"Hey Emmett, miss me?" I croaked. My voice was still sore and raspy from my lack of energy and recent up-chucking.

Emmett smiled wider—if that were possible— showing me his brilliantly white perfect razor sharp teeth that I knew without a doubt were venom coated.

I smiled weakly back, ignoring the threat. Emmett had more control then I used to think he did. There was an awkward silence not seconds after our welcomed exchange and I hurriedly worked to fill the uncomfortable silence.

"So how did the hunt go?" I asked. Up until now Emmett had been hunting off in Canada also paying a visit to Denali to visit my, err...cousin in laws. Well, vampire cousin in laws anyway.

"Great!" Emmett exclaimed. "I caught a heard of hibernating grizzly's!!"

I chuckled weakly. We were talking about vampire hunts as casual as if it were coffee. Half way into the laugh my lungs hitched on itself and I coughed roughly into my hand.

Before I could comprehend what was happening, I found my self perched comfortable against a familiar black leather couch.

At first I could only see Edwards face staring into mine worriedly. Anxiety was practically dripping off of his face. I stared into his lovely dark gold eyes and I could see everything Edward had been hiding from me. In his eyes I saw fear, love, worry, self hatred—although this was common thing to find—, but I also saw pain. I knew all of this was brought on by my recent state. How could I help him when he refused to let me? I needed him to see the joy of having a child.

As soon as the coughing had subsided I looked up to find a perfect pale hand holding a glass full of what I assumed was water. I followed the hand only to realize it belonged to Esme. I smiled in thanks and gently took the glass. Carefully I tipped it back filling my mouth with the refreshing substance. When my throat was better I looked back to Edward.

"Edward," I said his name like it was an escape route when I was lost, "I will always love you. This is not you doing this to me. No, this is me doing this to me. You are not at fault because you tired to get me better by having an..." my throat stalled. It hurt to even think the word let alone use it. "an....abortion." I finally managed to spit out.

Edward seemed to be considering what I said. His eyes traced every inch of my face and I sighed as I felt his cool fingers probe the gentle worry lines that had been, unconsciously, etched into my face. The coolness of Edwards's skin felt amazing against the fire blazing on mine.

"Am I really all that you need now?" Edwards's smooth musical voice filled the silence. I sighed and nodded my head slowly.

I felt a slight pressure fill the empty space of the couch next to me and I knew Edward was next to me. I leaned over, my eyes shut tiredly, resting my head against the refreshing rock-hard coolness of Edwards body. I felt myself let go of a small amount of stress and let my body relax. _Maybe_, I thought, _maybe a good nap would spike my energy a bit. _

With all the tense emotions running, not only through me, but throughout the entire house it was a shock I wasn't crazy…at least, not yet, anyway. Something felt off as I drifted into a muddled darkness I could only recognize as sleep. Yes, physically, I felt fine. However, emotionally I knew something was off. It took a moment before I realized Edward wasn't humming me to sleep.

This was a bit hurtful and shocking realization all at the same time. Even in the worst of fights, Edward always hummed me to sleep. I felt my eyebrow's tug down into a frown. Why wasn't he humming now?

"Bella?" Edward called.

My eyes were still sealed shut. "What?" I murmured sleepily.

I felt his fingers lightly brush my cheek. "You're not upset are you?"

YES, if you're referring to the fact that you aren't humming!

"No." I lied.

"What is it?" Edward murmured in a monotone voice and I could feel the strength it took him even to achieve that.

I sighed and gave in, "You're not humming. Have I really upset you _this _much?"

For the first time in days I heard Edward give a breathy chuckle. Even the smallest of laughs seemed to make me smile.

"I'm sorry, love. I've just been so…distracted." By the time he had said distracted I could feel all the humor rush out of his voice. Just like that, the shinning happy moment was gone. Inwardly, I groaned and shut my eyes again. I dint want him to hum when he didn't want to. It was going to be a forced hum. It wouldn't be the kind I knew was full of love and adoration and happiness. No, this hum would be like a hum of angry bee's about to sting someone.

I just shook my head against Edwards's chest and closed my eyes. This time it took a bit longer before I finally drifted off to sleep.

The dreams that I had received ever since the day before I married Edward continued on.

Moist grass brushed my feet. I could feel each wet blade as it brushed lightly against my skin. However, instead of the cold wetness being uncomfortable, it felt good. It was as if the water was more like an article of clothing that had been placed on my body.

Far off into the distance I could hear a faint echoing of a high pitched noise. I could feel my ears perk in reaction as the noise came closer and louder. As it neared me I could make out the high pitched noise as… a car horn? No…then I recognized it. It was a baby's cry. The noise pierced my ears and I almost felt the need to cover my ears from the pain.

All too soon the noise became too loud. Curiously I looked down and saw that I was holding the small baby. Shockingly, it looked like the child I had seen from my fantasies of Edward's and my child.

His hair was small, a cloud of small silky hair that lightly sprinkled his tiny head. His eyes were the exact shade of emerald. His nose, oddly enough, was a carbon copy of mine. But as I looked closer his skin, was the same shade I had memorized as Edwards— Immortal pale.

The high pitched wail continued relentlessly throughout the baby's small shell-pink mouth. I tired soothing it and started rocking my arms back and forth in a swaying motion. That was when I noticed my arms were the exact shade as the baby's I was rocking. Strange, but I dismissed it. I knew eventually I would be a vampire. The thought and the action itself no longer scared me as it had before.

Nothing I seemed to do calm the distressed child. I tried rocking it, singing—badly I might add—, and murmuring sweet words into its tiny ear. But nothing worked. Finally I looked up and saw the cause of the baby's suffering.

Standing before me, not mere feet away, was a large group of blood red cloaks. The hood's fell over their faces masking them from anyone's prying eyes. Suddenly they moved towards me and the frightened child. Their steps were lethal and erratic as if they were trying to move sideways.

That was when I recognized the cloaked figures. The Volturi. I had few previous, and I might add, horrifying encounters with the "Royal family" as they called themselves. In the vampire world, however, they _were royalty_. Able to take out anyone who posed as a threat to exposure without so much as a speck of blood to tarnish their flaring robes.

The Volturi formed a continuous circle around me and the small crying child.

I shook with the fear that they might try to kill both of us. Protectively I sank into a crouch and let out a fierce snarl at them. My hands wrapped protectively around the tiny child's head and I tried to bury him protecting him from their harmful glares. I didn't know why I was protecting the baby that I wasn't even sure was really mine. I knew I was going to die, however, that didn't stop my hands from wrapping around his head.

Somewhere deep in me I just knew I had to save him. I had to save my baby….

The Volturi let out a deep snarl before they lunged towards me and my baby.

**Author's Note: ): cliffy. I know. Sorry my mom's kicking me off! Review (; **


	6. Chapter 6 Effects

**Author's Note: HAHA I updated sooner then usual… this is due to the fact that 1. I have NO HOMEWORK!! 2. #1 is because we went on a field trip! WHOOO. (the last one I'll probably ever have until I graduate)**

**3. I have no life (well sorta) 4. I love writing (: 5. A LOT of you guys read my story after I updated it just yesterday… **

**Okay… I'm going to stop talking now… I promise… (; review. **

Breaking Dawn

Book 2

Bella

**Effects **

I nearly jumped as a pair of cold hands slid over my cheek. Rousing myself from my sleep I yawned loudly and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. _How long had I been out? _

My eyes trailed the smooth immortal skin. I found myself staring into deep onyx colored eyes. They held only a slight shade of blackness and I knew it wouldn't be long before he would need to hunt.

"Bella, love?" Edward called, worry thick in his voice.

I frowned, confused why Edward was worried. "Yes?"

"Are you okay?" He muttered softly and trailed his cool thumb idly over my cheek. Somehow I managed to nod while keeping his thumb still against my cheek.

"Are you sure…" his voice trailed off and I knew he was hiding something.

"What happened?" I asked accusingly.

My heart beat furiously at the thought of the Volturi. I felt all the blood drain from my already pale face. They had just been in my dreams…could that mean they had paid a visit and Edward, trying to keep my safe, refused to wake me from my sleep?

"Bella calm down…it was nothing serious…" Edward hesitated and I could have sworn I saw him flinch slightly. Cocking an eyebrow, I desperately waited for him to finish the sentence. "Well…You were, sort of, screaming in your sleep."

That statement had caught me off guard. I had been expecting something more like…"_Well… You sort of were knocked out and we killed the baby." _Even though I knew Edward would never do that there still was a possibility. He had gone to extreme lengths to protect me in the past. Even going as far as leaving me and saying that he no longer loved me —which, thank all that is holy, was a lie. However, I couldn't shake the feeling of déjà vu. It felt like I had done this before…

I gasped as I remembered. The screaming…the horrifying nightmares…I had the exact same experience when Edward left me…

"Edward…" I squeaked, frighten.

Would he leave me yet again? Did the promises he made mean nothing? For god's sake we were _married_!

I felt Edward freeze next to me.

NO!

"You're not going to…to leave me again?" I whispered agonizingly.

Edward said nothing. I felt tears fill my eyes and I quickly looked down. Edward couldn't feel pity for me. I wouldn't make him stay. No matter how much it killed me to lose him, yet again. I would not let him feel guilty for wanting out. I was a human, nothing special as I had vehemently repeated to Edward time and time again.

In my darkest fears I could feel this coming on. I tried to deny it… I tried to forget it and tried to remember Edward's vow to me. Now, however, that vow would mean nothing. There was nothing I could do or say that would probably want to make him stay with me—

Edward's angry clipped voice cut me off of my mental breakdown, "Bella," he spit angrily, "I WILL NOT EVER LEAVE YOU AGAIN!" Somehow he managed to shout the words even though his voice was low enough to not cause my ears discomfort.

I felt the truth in his voice and I knew I had been stupid for suggesting that. But how could I not doubt it when the facts were so clearly placed in front of my face?

I realized I had probably been screaming in my sleep because of the Volturi. I didn't manage to remember much about the dream. Only, that I had seen the Volturi and been scared out of my mind. Oh…and I was trying to save something? Edward? My family?

I shook my head, still unable to remember the horrifying nightmare and also, partly to shake off the feeling of being unwanted. Edward still waited patiently for me to respond. He just sat there patiently and resumed stroking my cheek with the underside of his thumb.

"Oh. Well, you see…I sort of had a nightmare. It was really scary! The Volturi were there again."

Edward frowned slightly, "Well that's really nothing new…other then the screaming. You had nightmares during the honeymoon. Remember?"

I blushed, but for a different reason other then the nightmares and Edward prying into my subconscious through my sleep-talking.

Edward seemed to see my blush fill my face I felt a flicker of amusement flash across his face. Not seconds later I felt a strong flutter against the underside of my slightly-swollen belly.

I nearly doubled over from the pain that sky-rocketed throughout my body. My nails dug into the shirt that hung limply on Edwards's chest. I needed something to hold on to so I didn't fall. Instantly I felt Edward wrap his stone cold arms around my torso.

Wincing, I felt another pain pass through. Luckily, this one was not as intense as the last. A short while later I felt all the pain drain from my body. I sighed and relaxed against Edward's cool embrace.

Edward's body was still tense, but as I relaxed against him I felt him relax too. We both needed this. Both he and I suffered tremendously from the pain that had been inflicted when I chose to keep the baby. We had been denying ourselves the grace of each of our own embraces because we were both just too angry and frustrated at each other.

Carefully I maneuvered myself so I was facing towards Edward. I leaned down and rested my cheek against his cool refreshing chest. Even through the fabric of his shirt I could manage to feel the skin that lay not centimeters below where my cheek now rested. I felt the blood rush, yet again, to my cheeks. I heard Edwards sigh and I felt him bury his nose into my hair.

"Ahh Bella." Edward whispered, his cool breath tickling against that skin on my scalp, "How I've missed my Bella."

Neither of us moved for quiet some time and I felt the skin of my cheek go numb, but I didn't mind. The fire on my skin seemed all but extinguished when I felt Edward pull back so he could look into my eyes.

"Let's check that bruise," I heard him mutter into the silence as he began lifting the hem my shirt, exposing the skin underneath.

Both Edward and I gasped as we spotted a blue and purple bruise that looked like an Easter-egg that had been imprinted into my skin. I heard multiple audible gasp's next to me and I looked up and saw Carlisle's face crumpled in deep concentration while Rosalie was leering over the couch to see if I was okay. Carlisle walked forward slowly and brushed Edward's hands away from my body. Carlisle's hands replaced the same spot Edward's had been in and I saw his brow pucker slightly._ Uh-oh this cannot be good_.

Carlisle probed my stomach with his fingers for a bit longer before he stood up. I could see pity and concern fill his eyes.

"Bella I will need to examine you." I almost started to protest when I heard Carlisle butt in, "I will not do anything to the baby but if something happened like a tear in the placenta we will want to know as soon as possible.

Edward waited until his farther had finished before he interrupted, "Carlisle I could hear nothing tear. Although, it wouldn't necessarily be a bad idea for us to check up on the baby; see how its doing growth wise."

Something felt off. Like there was some secrete discussion the "human" was being left out of.

"I don't know…"I hesitated, unsure, "Rose…"

Rose snapped her head up from the bruise on my belly. I felt slightly embarrassed but compared to what I made Rose help me do this was nothing.

She sighed and eyed Edward with suspicion, "I don't think it's anything Bella. Let's just make sure he's okay. I'll have Emmett wait outside so if anything happened I can sic him on Edward."

I felt my lips spread into a weak smile and I laughed breathily.

When Carlisle was done with his assessment he had concluded that the baby was simply growing at such a fast rate that my frail human body could not keep up. This seemed a little ironic but nothing new really. I had never been able to keep up with vampire's speed.

Carlisle's face fell blank after the procedure was finished.

"Bella," Carlisle said smoothly even though I could see worry was clearly stretched throughout his eyes. "I'm afraid I could not get a glimpse of the baby. The fetus has such strong skin. It's almost like vampire skin. The safest move I think we can make is to try an IV and see if you feel any better. From the blood sample I concluded that you're dehydrated and are lacking sufficient sources of nutrience in your body.

"I think it would be best to further monitor you and see if there are any signs of improvement." Carlisle completed with a sigh.

An IV? I cringed. When it came to needles it took a lot to get anywhere near me with one. Let alone stick one in my skin. When Carlisle had taken the blood test it was a finger prick, and on top of that I only looked deeply into Edward's eyes. Averting my gaze from any sight of blood, that would inevitably end with me fainting or throwing up.

But it was a hard choice to consider when it came to keeping the baby and me alive. Because, now I had to include this person in every choice I was going to make hereon. Everything I did, said, or acted on would influence this person. Gosh, that was a lot to take in.

However, I knew it was only for the best. Did I want my baby to die? No.

And with that I stuck my hand out into the space between Carlisle and my body. My eyes shut tightly so I didn't have to see when the needle would make contact with my arm. After a while I felt nothing. Wearily, I peeked one eye open just so I could get a glimpse of my hand.

Sure enough, there stuck smack-dab in the middle of my ivory skin was a thin piece of tape that covered a tiny tube. I shuttered and frowned all in the same moment. Luckily, I didn't feel the needle pierce my skin, thankfully. I looked up to meet a pair of rich golden eyes that stared calmly back. Edward.

I tugged up on corner of my mouth in a shrugging matter as if to say "whatever, it could be worse." However, Edward knew me better then that.

Slowly he stepped forward towards me as if he were fighting some current I couldn't see. It felt like forever when he finally reached me. Gently he brushed a few fingers against the skin of my cheek and I felt myself relax.

Small flutters rippled through my stomach and I felt my eyes widen in surprise.

Edward frowned and leaned down so he could look into my eyes, "what is it love?"

Oh, nothing it just feels like my stomach is alive…I've never been happier. Actually, I hadn't.

"Nothing." I muttered into the silence, "The baby…it just kicked me a little."

Edward's eyes widened in response to my words and I saw dread fill the hollow's that had been made.

"Edward," I called soothingly, "Calm down I'm fine." To prove my answer I reach up with the hand that wasn't being used by the IV and pressed his hand closer to my cheek so it rested flat and smooth.

Sighing in contempt I felt Edward stiffen as if he didn't believe me. Shaking my head I looked away from Edward's weary gaze and saw that Carlisle had left the room.

"Where did Carlisle go?" I asked.

Edward was still frozen as I asked but after a moment he seemed to thaw out. "He left to go give us privacy and also he knew you were in pain and he grieves for you."

_Grieves_. Huh, it sounded more like I was dead instead of dying. Although, if you looked at the situation in a certain light I guess you could say I was dying. But from what exactly, would be an entire other thing in itself. Supposed you chose to blame this child. Yet this child did not consciously choose to kill me. Or supposed you chose to blame Edward, although he was at fault, he wasn't going to be physically killing my per se—although I would have my heart stop beating—. No, Edward was killing my emotionally. Why couldn't he just damn—

"Bella!" Alice's high pitched sequel pierced my ears. I cringed slightly but still managed to eek out a small smile at my favorite sister.

"Are you okay? How did things go? Ohhh you should just see the things I picked out for the baby!" Alice gushed excitedly.

What? When I did say it was okay for Alice to go spending, and I kid you not, thousands of dollars on me? I sighed as the answer hit me square on in the face. Oh, right, when I got married to her brother.

"Alice…"I moaned.

"What? Bella don't give me that. We've been through this how many times? You're family and therefore are entitled to everything we own." She smiled sweetly.

I groaned, yet again. When would they realize Edward was a gift to me? Not the other way around. I was lucky he was in my life. Hell, I was lucky he even spent ten seconds looking at me with all his immortal perfection and all my human flaws.

Finally after Alice's excitement didn't seem to be simmering down any time soon I muttered nonchalantly while shaking my head in disapproval, "What did you get Alice?"

Alice's eyes seemed to glow happily as I said this and I was thankful for Alice's happy spirit even though the tension in the room had yet to cease its presence.

"Well…" She began, "I got toys, bottles, a rocking chair, a crib that's adorable, although I couldn't picture the baby in it so I guess we'll have to see when the time comes," She winked while she continued listing off item's, "Also…about me not being able to see the baby…" her voice trailed off and I saw Alice's gaze move away from mine.

What Alice neglected to say suddenly hit me, "You…Oh Alice no you didn't!" I exclaimed.

Alice eyed me with a pitiful look on her face. "Bella, please it was the only thing I could do to help…" she paused, "Plus they are_ reallyyyy_ adorable!"

Shaking my head, yet again, I sighed and gave in, "Show 'em too me." I muttered darkly as if I were asking to see a horror flick. Although at least it was better then when Alice made me try on my wedding dress every three days!

"_Yayyyyyy,_" Alice squealed and she flitted out of the room to show me to my ultimate doom.

**Author's Note: (: FINALLY! Whew! It took forever to finish the chapter! review (; **


	7. Chapter 7 Flicker

**Authors note: Sorry for the delay: / thanks for all your reviews!! They truely do mean the world to me!!**

Breaking Dawn

Book 2

Bella

**Flicker **

It took hours for Alice to show me all of the clothes she had picked up while out on her insane shopping trip. Somehow, the clothes weren't as bad as I had imagined. Some of them where actually sort-of cute. My favorite was a small baby blue jumper with a baseball stitched on it. I smiled at Alice.

"Just like his farther." I mused softly as my fingers traced over the tiny pattern.

Alice didn't laugh and I felt the room go eerily silent. Looking up I saw Edwards's eyes staring intently at the ground. His brow was furrowed in a frown. I felt all my happiness and awe fade quickly. I sighed, tired and already ready for a nap. As if on cue my jaws stretched in a long yawn. Alice caught on and I saw her lean towards me slowly extending her hands forward. Gently, Alice scooped me up and cradled me to her stone chest. I sighed in relief at the contact of her cool skin against mine.

Alice continued to carry me out of the room probably sensing that I had neither the strength to stand or walk. Sadly the fact was true. Part of me was upset that I was becoming so weak and helpless. Another part of me feared that if I truly was becoming so weak that I might lose the baby.

Instantly, my mind was cluttered with images of how my life would be if I did lose the baby. For sure Edward would never come near me again—ergo, no sex until I was changed. That in itself was a hard fact to swallow. Edward would probably be too overjoyed at my loss although I wasn't stupid. I knew Edward would feel remorse for me and that was probably the only thing from drugging me here and now and killing the baby.

He knew I loved and wanted this child far too much to ever allow himself to take it away from me. As Edward had said, "_Bella I don't want my presence in your life to have to make you sacrifice everything. I want to give you things not take them away from you_."

And that diminutive fact would keep the baby inside of me. Part of me didn't understand why Edward was being so dramatic about all of this but I knew Edward too wanted me to stay human for a bit longer. It only made sense that he wanted me to experience college with him. Also I knew anything that caused me pain Edward would want to destroy or get rid of. That was probably the reason my pregnancy was killing him. He wanted to save me from harm, yet he also wanted me to experience all my human things before I became immortal. And to add to my side of the argument Edward wanted to give me whatever I wanted—even if I protested, which I often did.

However the one other time I wanted something, the first time being sex, Edward knew that he could not resist giving in. Eventually, he and I both knew, he would cave in.

In the midst of all my mental yammering I managed to drift off not actually aware of anything other then the cool comfy texture of leather against my skin.

My dream was the same dream as before. I was standing in a circle of Volturi. All of them were coiled and ready to spring upon me at a moment noticed. Their hoods, as usual, clouded their faces from mine however I noticed one of their hoods had managed to have fallen back. A smooth pair of familiar eyes pierced mine. I felt a blood shrieking scream tear through my lungs. There, crouching ready to kill me and my baby was Edward.

Normally, I wouldn't have screamed at seeing Edwards face. The reason I did scream however was the color of his eyes. They weren't blood red, or pitch black, or even his human colored eyes— green. No, Edwards's eyes were their normal breath-taking gold. They were the same color as I had come to memorize and love. What troubled me most about the certain status of his eyes and the color of his eyes was the fact that he was going to consciously take this baby away from me. It wouldn't be some human blood fanatic who didn't have a care in the world. No, it would be the same Edward I had known to love with everything I had in me. _He _was going to kill my baby.

I felt my body start to hyperventilate. My heart started beating odd and it took more effort to breathe then usual. I looked up and saw the same Edward I had seen before only now his face was torn. I could almost hear him as I started to slip away to consciousness. The last words I could make out were the ones I knew would stick with me, "I will always love you." and, "I'm sorry."

As I surfaced consciousness I felt dead tired. A wave of confusion hit me. Didn't I just sleep? Why would I still be tired? I yawned in voluntarily and forced my hand up to brush the sleep from my eyes.

My vision finally cleared enough to focus in on the figure that sat directly next to my body. Edward.

I felt my heart leap in my chest. Only I didn't know if it was out of fear or love.

Edwards's eyes were almost dead looking as I looked into them. "Edward," I felt my voice croak.

His whole body relaxed at the sound of my voice but his eyes told me a different story. Never, in all the time that I knew Edward, did he ever look as tortured as he did now. His eyes held almost no hope-they looked like deep holes filled with despair. He looked almost half mad and half suicidal. Yet there hidden in the deep sea, was a flicker of a flame. And even in the sea of madness, the flame burned on. I knew that, that flame was Edwards's undying and unyielding love for me. My heart, although upset and troubled by the guilt that stalked me knowing Edward was suffering, soared.

In that moment I realized our vows were eternal, just like our love. Nothing would ever change that. Not even my little EJ. I knew if Edward could just wait until he saw the love I would always give the child that he could learn to love him too. Yet I knew, sadly, that love was something that couldn't be forced. Still, I hoped.

Edwards I reached up and stroked Edwards's cheek. I heard him lean into my touch and he sighed. I cupped his face with both of my hands and lazily ran my fingers into his disheveled hair. His silk hair parted easily as I ran my fingers through it.

Edward shut his eyes and leaned down to rest his head on my lap. I looked out the window into the breaking of dawn. Smiling I continued lazily running my fingers through Edwards hair while my other hand lay protectively atop my baby bump. The sun rose in the sky and set diamonds off of Edwards's skin. Tracing the diamonds on Edwards face I felt my stomach lurch unexpectedly.

"Rose." I squeaked through tightly pressed lips. Immediately Rosalie appeared in front of me with a sizable metal bowl. Quickly, she managed to maneuver past Edward and place the bowl under my chin.

Once I could breathe again, I looked up and saw Esme holding a damp cloth that had neatly been folded in two. Eagerly I reached up for the cloth and wiped off of my face. Surprisingly enough I saw Edward hand me a small piece of blue tin foil that held a minty fresh smell. I unfolded it and popped the stick gum into my mouth. Instantly the sour taste faded away.

"Thank you," I replied gratefully to both of them.

Esme nodded and smiled warmly but Edward only placed his head back into my lap. I smiled weakly and ran my fingers back through Edwards's hair. I felt another flutter in the deep pit of my stomach and I felt my lips curl up.

That was around the time I heard a booming voice enter the room. I sighed, happily relieved that it was Emmett who walked into the room. I looked over and eyed my brother. Emmett as usual stood tall with thick bands of muscle that wrapped around his body. I felt a nervous flutter and I rubbed my hand over the bump trying to soothe my frightened baby.

Emmett let out a snort and I looked up as amusement danced across his face. "So Bella how was the_ honeymoon_?"

I rolled my eyes, "_Greattt_," I mused sarcastically.

Emmett chuckled, "No silly little Bella I meant how was the"—

Edward's loud growl cut Emmett off.

I bit my lip while moving my eyes away from Emmett's as I felt a deep blush fill my cheeks. If only he knew…  
Emmett sighed and rolled his eyes at his brother's behavior. "Chill bro' I'm just kidding around with Bells here."

Emmett was the only other one out of my entire vampire family that called me Bells. The name only Charlie, Billy, and Jake… My mind stopped short of the mention of Jake.

Memories flooded my mind of La Push and the infamous summer I spent there. It was infamous only because that was the summer without Edward. I felt chills erupt over my skin leaving a fresh trail of goose flesh splattered across my skin. But besides the one fact of being Edward-less I would be lying if I said I had a bad time. The summer I spent there had to top most of the summers I had ever spent in Forks.

One main reason was probably my newfound obsession with adrenaline. The bikes, which made me spend nearly every day over Jakes. The cliff diving. Jake and I had been jointed at the hip. Even as children Jake and I had been friends. Unfortunately that only made what I was now doing hurt worse. Although keeping Edward in my life was my number one priority it didn't mean not letting Jake maneuver himself into the equation too didn't hurt just as much. I felt guilty to say the lease. I found myself craving Jake's warm smiles and tight warm hugs. I missed his stupid jokes that still made me laugh. I loved him, yes. But this love I spoke of was like a love for your best friend or a love for your brother. You just weren't _in love_ with them.

By the time I had let my mind sort it through I came to a sad conclusion.

There was no getting around it. I missed Jacob Black, my best friend who just so happened to be werewolf.

**Author's Note: /: I don't know… the end made me a little sad *sniff sniff* even though I prefer Edward to the book I did feel for Jacob. In my mind his is my best friend (: . I guess that's one way Bella and I compare. We both only see Jake as a best friend. STAY TUNED FOR A SURPRISE :D review. **


	8. Chapter 8 Unexpected

**Author's Note: Okay now I'm am completely at fault here….well me and my mom anyway. Um yeah so I sort of got a C on my math test (which was bull since I actually DID ace it) —seriously I did—. She had to go back, today might I add, and correct it. This is what caused the delay in my updating, lame I know. **

**But now, without any further, delay, I give you… Chapter 8 (; **

**P.S. Italics are direct quotes from Breaking Dawn **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights and content distributed in the story belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I am, simply, borrowing her characters for my own enjoyment. **

Breaking Dawn

Book 2

Bella

**Unexpected**

Edward's eyes had begun to slowly fade into deep amber. Already, they had begun to lose their butterscotch warmth. Part of me feared that not only was the color fading but his sanity was too. Guilt, as if on cue, rushed into my mind like a whirlwind. However, I was used to this by now.

For, you see, each day I did this, each day that I would awake, I would look into Edwards's eyes and see them slowly start to fade to black. And, each day, the guilt would assault me. I would be lying if I said it didn't bother me. Of course, the situation I was now in didn't affect my undying love for Edward. I would always feel guilty if he— or in that case, any of my family— were ever in pain.

It didn't take long before the guilt began to eat away at me. A familiar pain began to spread throughout my chest and I looked down at my hands, tactfully averting my eyes away from Edwards. I started at a proverbial freckle that stood out against my pale skin. Not seconds later did I feel, and see, a cold and immortal hand glide over my wrist. I looked up and Edward's concerned eyes met my gaze.

The guilt went into double time and I simply shook my head slowly and started looking back down at my wrist which now lay atop my rounded belly. If only would ever really know how much I desperately wished he could finally accept this little baby as ours. I guess, for now anyway, this baby was mine. Only I could keep my little nudger alive. And, I was doing just that. I smiled weakly as I felt a small kick by the top of my swelling stomach.

Just then I heard an engine cut off outside of the house. Confused, I frowned and looked over at Edward. He said nothing and his face was blank, but, of course, his eyes betrayed him. In them, past all the chaos caused by my recent state, hid a small amount of…sadness…no, pity.

Just then I heard a name I swore I would never hear again. Jacob.

"Jacob Black." I heard Alice murmur in a soft voice. I looked over at my favorite sister and was surprised to see, well, not Alice. She had lost some of her energy. It was as if _I _were draining everyone's energy too.

Cold air filled the room as the front door of the house slowly opened. Then I heard Carlisle's calm voice fill the room, _"Hello, Jacob," he said. "How are you?" _

I smiled weakly at Carlisle's politeness towards Jacob. But, then again, that was Carlisle; my farther, the peace maker.

I heard Jake take in a deep breath, pausing momentarily, _"I heard Bella made it back alive,"_ he said as if he doubted I would.

I rolled my eyes at his remark. How typical of Jake. Of course, only he would say such a thing.

_"Er, Jacob, it's not really the best time." _Carlisle offered smoothly. _"Could we do this later?"_

I wasn't stupid. I knew Jake would not agree to it. Part of me hoped he wanted to see me as much as I ached to see him. If I could, I would have been biting my nails to the bare. It was just that I didn't have the energy to be anxious or even excited anymore. There were just so many things I could no longer do. However, I knew, eventually, it would pay off.

Angry I decided to join the conversation, _"Why not?" _I asked Carlisle, _"Are we keeping secretes from Jacob, now too? What's the point?"_

I was already significantly upset at the lengths taken to keep Charlie at arms distance. Only recently had we founded a solution to that problem. Typical Bella caught some rare foreign illness. Of course, only_ I_ would go on my honeymoon and contract some weird rare illness. The story worked better then I could have hoped for. And at the moment Charlie believed I was where I said I was—at the Cullen's house locked away in an air filtered room.

When Charlie had demanded to see me, Carlisle had smoothly calmed Charlie down by saying that it was just too dangerous and that I would call him when I was finished with the tests and knew more information.

_"Come in," _I paused before adding, _"Please, Jacob." _

I knew from the sound of my voice that Jake would be suspicious.

"_Excuse me," _I heard Jake mutter. At least that was an improvement towards the recent relations between the pack and my family.

Jacob entered the room cautiously, as if he were trying not to detonate a bomb. I saw him carefully eye each of my family, including Edwards, before I saw his eyes land on mine. His eyes squinted as if he were having a hard time actually seeing me and I saw his forehead crumple in deep concentration.

Just then I felt a strong hitch in my stomach, yet again. Hot liquid rushed into my mouth and as if she already knew, I saw Rose lean over and snatch up the metal bowl before she placed it below my chin.

When I was done I looked up at Jake apologetically. "_Sorry about that_," I whispered hoarsely. I saw Edward moan and his head fell against my knees in agony. Guilty, I attempted to comfort him by placing my hand carefully against his cheek.

I heard a growl and looked up to see Rose standing protectively between where Jake stood and where I sat.

"_Rose, don't," _I managed to whisper, _"It's fine." _

Rosalie hesitated as if she was uncertain I was the one that had started going crazy. But then I saw her shift her body so that she was behind me. I knew her protectiveness of me was only as good as I was carrying this child. As soon as any harm came to the baby Rose would strike. Although I knew she would be far more hesitant if not for the child.

"_Bella," _I heard Jakes familiar voice fill the silence, _"What's wrong?" _

He too got down on his knees, like Edward. He shuffled forward as if he were approaching someone royal and grabbed one of my hands in his warm ones.

"_Are you alright?" _he murmured softly. For a moment Jake looked, well…innocent.

However, I dodged it knowing full well I was a horrible liar. _"I'm so glad you came to see me today, Jacob," _I said.

My lungs heaved slightly trying not to cough and scare Jacob. I heard Edward moan and I stroked my finger along his cold cheek soothingly.

_"What is it, Bella?" _Jacob persisted.

Anxiously I eyed my family for their approval in showing Jake. As if they already knew I could see no signs of complaints on anyone's face, but I didn't bother looking at Edwards, for his, at the moment, was stuffed into a blanket I had that hung loosely around me. Finally, I turned to face Rosalie.

_"Help me up, Rose?" _I asked knowing she would if I really asked her too. She gave a glare in Jakes direction showing off her venom coated teeth threateningly.

"_Please, Rose." _ I tried both her and I knew I didn't have it in me to beg or argue.

Rose made a face of annoyance at Jake before she leaned down and helped me get up.

_"No," _Jake whispered, _"Don't get up…" _

Annoyed I shot back, _"I'm answering your question." _

The cold air hit the fabric of my over-sized sweat shirt. I saw Jakes eye's go wide as he took in the sight before him. My stomach was perched out so I was noticeably pregnant. There was no denying it now. The baby bump strained against the grey material. I saw Jakes eyes as he took it all in—my face, my stomach, my body, everything. Only one word could really describe Jacobs face; horror, pure horror. 

I saw Edward's face snap up out of the corner of my eyes and, for the first time since I had awoke, I heard Edward speak.

_"Outside, Jacob." _Edward snarled. This couldn't be good…

**Author's Note: Okay so hugeeee sorry for cutting the chapter short this time. But seeing as I do need some actual resemblance of sleep tonight I sort of had to. Reviews are better then jelly beans (: **


	9. Chapter 9 Whole

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in updates. With Spring break I sort of got sidetracked with planning everything. But here you go... here is the brand new 9****th**** chapter. (: enjoy. **

**P.S. New Chapter being updated Sunday or Monday * :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Stephanie Meyer rules! All content is controlled by her and her alone. **

Breaking Dawn

Book 2

Bella

**Whole**

For a small moment in time, my life, though thoroughly damaged, seemed complete. For that small fracture of time, I could breathe. I wasn't broken or scarred. And in that moment I realized Jacob had been apart of what I had been missing.

Evidently he too was part of my life, like it or not. He couldn't take the place of Edward in my life. I already had known that. Yet, he seemed to fill in the missing gaps. It was like I had found the missing piece to the puzzle. Now, I was whole.

"_Let's do this." _Jacob agreed enthusiastically.

_No_…was my only thought. _No don't fight. I cannot bear it. I cannot bear for any more internal battle. I have already lost so much… Not my family…Not Jacob. _

It took a moment before I finally found my voice, "_No_." I gasped stumbling forward towards Jacob. I knew I wouldn't fall, for I felt Rosalie's cool arm still connected with mine.

Edward turned to me, the storm in his eyes seemed to calm as he drank in the look on my face. He sighed and began speaking in a low soft voice, _"I just need to talk to him, Bella." _

Part of me feared for both Jake and Edward. But I was momentarily sidetracked in my movement of thoughts as I felt Edward's cool fingers brush against the skin of my cheek. I sighed as all thoughts flew out of my head.

"_Don't strain yourself," _Edward begged, _"please rest. We'll both be back in just a few minuets." _

Not believing Edward, I studied his face carefully knowing his eyes would give him away if he were lying. But Edward's eyes held nothing but a small amount of fatigue, which I could only assume was from all the stress that had been added to the atmosphere by my conception. I was not blind or stupid. I could see the strain Edward had been going through to let me continue growing his child—or, in Edwards mind, his monster.

Finally I nodded and slowly moved towards the couch. Exhaustion was eating at me and I felt my eyes grow dry and fuzzy. Both clear signs I needed rest. Rose helped lower my exhausted body back towards the comfy cushions of the couch. I felt them mold to the shape of my body and sighed at the relief it brought to my sore back.

My gaze flickered to Jakes. I was suddenly unsure if he would or wouldn't keep his promise not to harm Edward. I knew the treaty clearly stated otherwise, yet, I knew if Jake felt the need to he could break it without a second thought.

"_Behave," _I felt my lips murmur, _"And then come back." _

Jake didn't answer. Instead he just turned away and followed Edward out the door. I heard the door shut with an audible "click." My body sagged deeper into the cushions and I let my mind wander aimlessly as I awaited sleep. Questions appeared randomly in my head as I wondered how Jake would react to the words I knew Edward was speaking to him now.

_Would Edward and Jake gang up on me and force me to kill the baby? Would Edward and Jake fight? Would Jake try to kill me? _The last question I knew was stupid yet part of me feared that he would. I knew Jake loved me deeply yet I also knew that Jake wanted to protect me. What if, by trying to save me, he killed me?

I knew Edward would never tolerate such things. But I couldn't help the doubt in my mind that stated otherwise. Edward could let Jake kill the baby and while I was profusely bleeding bite me in an attempt to salvage the person I had once been before I was pregnant. I shook my head knowing full well that Edward would never take the risk. Part of me also knew that Jake wouldn't stand for me to become a vampire. It was truly the last thing I knew Jake would stomach.

My mind paused, deep in thought. There was a complication, as usual. Jake would have to choose, just as I had, between keeping me alive and killing me along with my child. I felt sick at all the thoughts of loosing my little EJ. I could see his face in my mind—helpless and scared. His big green eyes watered with fear. I could see tears well up and fall over the brim of his eyes. My heart ached and I felt a pang of fear for my helpless child—my little Edward. Could I not protect what meant most to me? Could I not, somehow, salvage him from the fate I had doomed both myself and him to? Because, I knew, undoubtedly, that I would die from the birth of my child. But, if Jake stalled the attempt to save me, there could be no hope.

A small flutter in the pit of my swollen stomach reminded me that he, the child I was carrying, was real. He wasn't just dome dream or some _thing_. He was, by right, both Edward's and my child. Opening my eyes, I felt my head roll forward so I could see my swollen stomach. I placed my arms around the bugle, tucking my right arm carefully underneath and letting my left rest above in a gesture of a hug. I tired speaking softly to my little nudger trying to coax it to calm down. Miraculously, I felt the flutters subside slightly.

I smiled softly and I saw a feminine small hand reach forward and press lightly against my stomach. Looking up, I saw Esme's gentle smile and I saw her gaze into my eyes with the same sense of wonder and bewilderment. I felt a mild kick where Esme's hand rested against my stomach and I smiled.

"I guess he knows who his grandma is." I laughed softly.

Esme laughed too, her musical voice soothed my ears. I felt another flutter against my stomach and smiled again.

"I like her voice too." I whispered to my stomach.

Esme smiled widely showing off most of her venom colored teeth. I wasn't afraid because I knew that her smile wasn't meant to scare me. I smiled back and moved her hand upwards to the place I knew I felt the most kicks.

Sure enough not a second later I felt another kick. Esme laughed again and I heard another set laugh accompany it as well. I looked up and saw both my sisters perched against the couch. Their heads rested in their hands and they leaned against the couch as they gazed adoringly at my stomach as through they were both discovering the new fashion trend.

I smiled sheepishly at them and reached out for both of their hands. I gently placed them next to Esme's. After a few moments I felt another kick. I smiled as I heard both my vampire sisters gasp in incomprehension at what they had felt. Both their golden eyes flew wide and I merely shrugged and smiled.

I felt my smiled begin to fade as I remembered Jake and Edward's talk. I closed my eyes in defeat and sighed. I felt the coolness against my stomach suddenly remove its presence.

I let my mind drift off into a dreamless sleep and I felt my mind slide off into unconsciousness.

* * *

**Author's Note: Shorter then usual. I know. Sorry ): but in the events in the actual BD that whole time is spent arguing over Bella with Jake and Edward. Bella is no where near them. So I had to improvise /: Sorry. Review to let me know what you think!! (: **


	10. Chapter 10 Persuasion

**Author's Note: AHA! I, finally, found the time to write again. (: Don't worry, I didn't forget. However with the recent hectic schedule (which I am sure most of you can compare too), I found myself passing out, due to excessive exercising, before my head could reach the pillow. *Special shout out to ****Simaril****who found**** the time to review a TON of my chapters. (; it means a lot to me…. NOT that I don't read all of the reviews, because believe me I do, and I appreciate them all (:.* **

**DISCLAIMER: Okay so I own nothing. Absolutly nothing! MUAHAHAH! Stephanie Meyer owns all content and characters. Well except for the short bit of Bella's thoughts that came from my mind… But still… sigh… I don't own that either. ****Everything in **_**Italics **_**is quoted from Breaking Dawn* **

******Sorry for another interruption :/ but I was wondering if anyone could explain to me how to get a beta and if so, would anyone be interested in being one?******

**But enough of my jabbering… Time for chapter 10!!!**

Breaking Dawn

Book 2

Bella

**Persuasion**

The sound of the front door being pushed open awoke me from my small nap. I yawned and turned to face Edward. I could feel something was off. Something, which bothered me to no end, that Edward was keeping from me. I looked over at Jake for a second. He seemed as if he was in his first health class and I was the horrible teacher showing him diagrams and explaining how "woman reproduction" worked and going into detail about "that time of the month". Mentally I laughed at this and forced my eyes to, once again, meet Edwards.

I started into Edward's eyes trying, desperately, to decipher the foreign language in his eyes. What was it that he could possibly be keeping from me? Was it that Jake and Edward both agreed that I needed to be safe, and by doing so the child had to be eliminated? I felt all the blood drain from my face. Jakes unyielding fidelity to the pack and the oath they took upon themselves, to protect everyone from vampires, would ensure my demise along with my unborn child. I wondered who they would try to kill first; me or my child?

Unconsciously, I already knew my answer. I would rather die then see the death of my child. So it was concluded. I would have to ensure my death before the child could suffer too much abuse. I knew that it seemed backwards somehow.

Rosalie interrupted my thoughts. I saw her, protectively, lean over the couch and place her cool soothing palm against my cheek. Edwards's eyes snapped to Rosalie's and he merely started into hers. I knew he didn't have it in him at the moment to tear her to shreds. Although, I knew it wouldn't take much.

_"We're going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately," Edward _stated in a monotone voice that reminded me vaguely of a computerized voice that was forced to spit back the data that had been imputed.

Rosalie's eyes narrowed, _"Over my pile of ashes." _she hissed.

Edward simply didn't respond. Instead, he averted his gaze to the wall across from me, staring blankly into space.

_"Bella,"_ Edward said in the same vacant voice, _"Jacob wants to talk to you. Are you afraid to be alone with him?" _

Confused I just looked at Edward. When would I ever be afraid of Jake? Oh, right, two minuets ago. But that didn't matter. I knew, without a doubt, that about seven vampires surrounded the house. If he tried to pull anything funny, well, he wasn't getting far.

Pleadingly I looked to Rosalie. _"Rose, it's fine. Jake's not going to hurt us. Go with Edward." _I said this knowing that I contradicted my current thoughts. I didn't believe, at least, not at the present moment, that Jake would hurt me.

Rose, however, noticed the fault in my statement. _"It could be a tick," _Rosalie warned.

Shaking my head I replied confidently, _"I don't see how."_

_"Carlisle and I will always be in your sight, Rosalie," Edward said. _

I could see the sadness that filled his eyes as he said this. He paused briefly before continuing in a soft voice, _"We're the ones she's afraid of." _

My heart clenched tight in my chest. Of all the time I knew Edward, even including the time before I had met him, I had never been truly afraid of him. Yes there had been instances where I would let my imagination get the best of me, this happened often. Still, I never truly feared of Edward's presence.

Jake was the same. There was a brief period of time—and an immensely painful one at that—where I did fear Jake. However, it was not for my life. It was for Jake's and for everyone I had known that I had believed he had killed. Foolishly, I let myself believe that it was Jake, my werewolf best friend, who had been attacking people rather then saving them.

_"No," _I whispered trying to persuade him, _"No, Edward. I'm not. . . ."_

Edward just shook his head at me trying to dismiss my attempt. _"I didn't mean it that way, Bella. I'm fine. Don't worry about me." _

I sighed a little, not fully believing Edward. 

"_Everyone," _Edward motioned his hand laboriously in a gesture towards the door. _"Please," _he added.

We all paused for a moment. No one dared to move. I sat on the floor; carefully studying Edward's composure. I was sure, that at any moment, he would break. I nodded fractionally towards the rest of my family members. Quickly all of them shuffled out of the room. The only people left now were Rose, who still hovered closely to me, Edward who looked in tired and hungry, to be frank, and Jake who looked, well, like Jake—eternally pissed that I had chosen to give my life to Edward.

I sighed, "_Rose, I want you to go." _

Rose didn't complain. Instead, she shot a glare at Edward as if to say, _"Don't even think about it." _After I was sure she knew he had received the message loud and clear she gestured for him to leave first. Part of my heart ached as I saw Edward push through the door.

Rose distracted me, shifting her gaze to Jake. I could almost see the invisible daggers I knew she was trying to shoot into his mind. Finally she flitted out of the house leaving me alone with Jake. He crossed the space between us and sat on the floor directly next to me. I looked deep into Jacobs troubled eyes and saw something I knew I had never seen before. I saw pain, fear, love, and…if it were possible, abandonment. It was like Jake was abandoned when I left him for Edward. Strangely, part of my mind said the same was true for me—that I had felt the same way when Jake had been pulled away from me during my wedding. I had felt like part of my heart went missing. A small part in comparison to Edward's half, but a part none the less.

I felt heat trickle through my skin pushing deep into the tissue of my hand. I felt my body relax slightly.

"_Thanks, Jake. That feels good." _I murmured softly.

"_I'm not going to lie, Bells. You're hideous," _Jake admitted.

I understood what Jake meant and I didn't take offense. I knew that I looked hideous. I knew that I hadn't showered in a few days, disturbingly, I could never find the time too when I kept getting sick. Even when I wasn't getting sick I just seemed to have no energy to allow myself too.

"_I know,"_ I agreed, _"I'm scary-looking."_

"_Thing-from-the-swamp scary,"_ Jake hinted.

I let out a laugh. It felt good. It was like with Jake here I wasn't dealing with my immediate death that seemed like it was rapidly approaching. Jake had a way of making you forget about the pain.

"_It's so good having you here. It feels nice to smile," _I admitted, _"I don't know how much more drama I can take." _

Jake rolled his eyes in disbelief.

"_Okay, okay," _I confessed, _"I bring it on myself." _

"_Yeah, you do. What're you thinking, Bells? Seriously!"_

As Jake said that a light bulb went off in my head.

"_Did he ask you to yell at me?" _I narrowed my eyes playfully.

"_Sort of. Though I can't figure why he thinks you'd listen to me. You never have before," _he hinted. 

I sighed, my energy was too zapped to make a come back at that exact moment.

"_I told you—" _Jake started to say.

I snapped, my energy was suddenly in full volume, _"Did you know that 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob?" _I asked. _"His name is 'Shut the hell up.'"_

"_Good one." _Jake smiled giving me props.

I grinned back at him, _"I can't take all the credit—I got it off a rerun of The Simpsons." _

"_Missed that one." _Jake cracked.

"_It was funny." _

After that neither of us seemed to know quiet what to say to each other. It was a minuet before I finally found something to ask him about.

"_Did he really ask you to talk to me?" _

Jake nodded, _"To talk some sense into you." _Jake paused, _"There's a battle that's lost before it starts."_

I resisted the overwhelming urge to laugh in mockery at him. We both knew full well that I was capable of making the right decisions.

"_So why did you agree?" _I inquired.

Jake paused and I could see the lines in his forehead crunch up, deep in thought. I could see his eyes glaze over with pain and I immediately tried to distract him. 

"_It'll work out, you know. I believe that." _Even as I said this I knew I was talking to myself more then to Jake.

I saw Jakes eyes return to the present only know they held the distinct emotion of anger.

"_Is dementia one of your symptoms?" _Jake spit through his teeth.

I couldn't help but laugh at that one—all the jokes about me being crazy. However, jakes anger was real and I could feel his hands beginning to shake around mine.

I though more about Jakes words as well as mine. There was just no way else to explain how I had managed to escape Victoria, James, and Laurent, and keep Edward in my life. Something was working in my favor.

"_Maybe,"_ I admitted, _"I'm not saying things will work out easily, Jake. But how could I have lived through all that I've lived through and not believe in magic by this point?" _

"_Magic?"_ I felt Jake's trembling subside as he said this.

"_Especially for you," _I said while smiling. I removed one of my hands from his and pressing it against his cheek. _"More then anyone else, you've got some magic waiting to make things right for you." _

"_What are you babbling about?"_

Smiling at his sarcasm, something you rarely ever saw occur in the house, I explained, _"Edward told me once what it was like—your imprinting thing. He said it was like A Midsummer Night's Dream, like magic. You'll find who you're really looking for, Jacob, and maybe then this will all make sense." _

I hoped Jake wouldn't blow off my words for nothing. I saw the anger return with a vengeance in his eyes. I heard a growl erupt from him. _"If you think imprinting could ever make sense of this insanity…" _ I saw Jake pause as he struggled to find the right words to convince me otherwise. _"Do you really think that just because I might someday imprint on some stranger it would make this right?" _Jake spit as he jabbed a finger towards my engorged belly. I could feel my heart being jabbed painfully as Jake spit out each word.

"_Tell me what the point was then, Bella!" _He shouted, _"What was the point of my loving you? What was the point of you loving him? When you die," _He snarled, _"How is that ever right again? What's the point to all the pain? Mine, yours, his! You'll kill him, too, not that I care about that." _

By now it was significantly painful to hear echoed throughout my ears. I could feel my body flinch at his words but he kept at it.

"_So what was the point of your twisted love story, in the end? If there is any sense, please shoe me, Bella, because I don't see it." _

Finally he stopped ranting and I let out the breath that I had been, unconsciously, holding in. _"I don't know yet, Jake. But I just…feel…" _I struggled once more for the right words to reassure him,_ "that this is all going somewhere good, hard to see as it is now. I guess you could call it faith."_

"_You're dying for nothing, Bella! Nothing!" _Jake protested.

Instantly my hand dropped from Jakes face to the top of my swollen belly. I gently rubbed soothing circles trying to calm my sweet little nudger.

"_I'm not going to die," _I spit through my teeth in a mantra as if I was trying to convince myself more then him. _"I will keep my heart beating. I'm strong enough for that."_

"_That's a load of crap, Bella. You've been trying to keep up with the supernatural for too long. No normal person can do it. You're not strong enough." _As Jake said this he took my face between his hands and looked deeply into my eyes.

"_I can do this. I can do this." _I repeated to myself trying not to let Jacob's words get to me.

"_Doesn't look like it to me. So what's your plan? I hope you have one."_

I nodded. I did have a plan. _"Did you know Esme jumped off a cliff? When she was human, I mean." _

"_So?" _Jake muttered.

"_So she was close enough to dead that they didn't even bother taking her to the emergency room—they took her right around to the morgue. Her heart was still beating, though, when Carlisle found her…" _I let my voice trail off giving him the hint.

"_You're not planning on surviving this human," _Jake muttered his voice seemed detached.

Of course I wasn't. _"No. I'm not stupid." _Ifinally lifted my eyes to meet Jakes stare._ "I guess you probably have your own opinion on that point, though."_

"_Emergency vampirization," _Jake mumbled.

"_It worked for Esme." I pointed out, "And Emmett, Rosalie, and even Edward. None of them were in such great shape. Carlisle only changed them because it was that or death. He doesn't end lives, he saves them." _

I saw Jake's face flicker in a way that made it seem like he felt guilty. Not seconds after that he began to try to persuade me yet again. _"Listen to me, Bella. Don't do it that way. Don't wait until it's too late, Bella. Not that way. Live. Okay? Just live. Don't do this to me." _Jake begged, _"Don't do it to him. You know what he's going to do when you die." _Jakes voice got louder, _"You've seen it before. You want him to go back with those Italian killers?" _

The Volturi. I felt myself cringe as the memories of Edward standing between me and them, trying, uselessly to protect me.

Jake's soft voice broke through the painful fog that was growing in my mind. _"Remember when I got mangled up by those newborns? What did you tell me?" _

I remembered in almost perfect quality what I had told him and I feared he would use that against me. I pressed my lips together trying to keep myself from crying at the horrible things I had done to him.

"_You told me to be good and listen to Carlisle," _he repeated. _"And what did I do? I listened to the vampire. For you."_

I shook my head at the words, _"You listened because it was the right thing to do." _

"_Okay—pick either reason." _

I took in a deep breath. _"It's not the right thing now." _I dropped my eyes to my belly and whispered to my little nudger. _"I won't kill him."_

"_Oh, I hadn't heard the great news. A bouncing baby boy, huh? Shoulda brought some blue balloons." _

I felt my cheeks flush at the information I unintentionally slipped to him.

"_I don't know he's a boy." _It was true I didn't know. I only assumed.

"_The ultrasound won't work. The membrane around the baby is too hard—like their skin. So he's a little mystery. But I always see a boy in my head," _I continued.

"_It's not some pretty baby in there, Bella." _Jake protested.

"_We'll see." _

"_You won't." Jake snarled. _

"_You're very pessimistic, Jacob. There is definitely a chance that I might walk away from this." _

Jake didn't answer and I figured he was trying to cool down from all the intense anger that had been flying around.

"_Jake," _I said patting his hair as I stroked his cheek. _"It's going to be okay. Shh. It's okay." _

Jake didn't look up. _"No. It will not be okay." _

I didn't bother listening to Jake's whines. I whipped some tears from his cheek as I muttered, _"Shh."_

"_What's the deal, Bella?" _Jake said and I tried to look into his eyes. However, Jake was suddenly very interested with the carpet at that moment. But regardless of his new fetish he continued talking.

"_I thought the whole point was that you wanted your vampire more than anything. And now you're just giving him up? That doesn't make any sense. Since when are you desperate to be a mom? If you wanted that so much, why did you marry a vampire?" _

I sighed. Jakes words made sense but there was a different reason I had. _"I did not know that. I didn't really care about having a baby. I didn't even think about it. It's not just having a baby. It's…well," _I struggled for the right words for the umpteenth time that day. Finally I managed to find them,_ "…this baby." _

"_It's a killer, Bella. Look at yourself." _

I refused to listen to Jacob words.

"_He's not. It's me/ I'm just weak and human. But I can tough this out, Jake, I can—" _

"_Aw, come on! Shut up, Bella. You can spout this crap to your bloodsucker, but you're not fooling me. You know you're not going to make it." _Jake fumed.

I was pissed, to say the least.

"_I do not know that." _I said, glaring at him, "_I'm worried about it, sure." _

"_Worried about it," _he repeated through clenched teeth.

I felt a sharp pang at the middle of my bump. I could feel the bruise already beginning to form.

"_I'm fine" _I panted, trying, unsuccessfully, to ignore the horrible pain, _"It's nothing." _

I didn't realize that my hands that had been clutching the over-sized sweat shirt Edward had loaned me, thank god it still held his scent, to the side exposing some recently bruised skin.

I heard Jake's gasp and quickly followed his gaze. Horrified, I pulled the material so that it covered it.

"_He's strong, that's all," _I quickly stammered to explain.

"_Bella," _Jakes voice was smooth and I could hear the pity rising in it.

"_Bella, don't do this," _He pleaded once more.

"_Jake—" _

"_Listen to me. Don't get your back up yet. Okay? Just listen. What if . . . ?"_

"_What if what?" _

"_What if this wasn't a one-shot deal? What if it wasn't all or nothing? What if you just listened to Carlisle like a good girl, and kept yourself alive?"_

I could see where this was going.

"_I won't" _I protested.

"_I'm not done yet." _Jake complained, _"So you stay alive. Then you can start over. This didn't work out. Try again."_

I thought about what he was saying. On one hand it made sense. Jake would want me to start over so we didn't start a war. The frown lines between Jake's eyebrows showed me that he too was confused. I touched the place trying to make sense of everything.

"_I don't understand . . . . What do you mean, try again? You can't think Edward you let me . . . .? And what difference would it make? I'm sure and baby—"_

"_Yes," _Jake snapped as if he were reading my mind._ "Any of his would be the same." _

I just got more and more confused. What was he getting at?

"_What?" _

Suddenly, it came to me. Of course, Jake would want me to start over. Edward children would be the same. So the only way to make it different… was to have Jacob Blacks child.

**Author's Note: AHA! Extra long chapter for youuu(; I wanted it to seem authentic so I copied most of the quotes from the book. But don't worry, the only part I got from the book are the things in **_**italics**_**. Everything else is from me(: Review. **


	11. Chapter 11 Goodbyes

**Author's Note: SUCCESS computers finally working again :D! anyway a special thanks to all of you who reviewed *tears* thanks you *sniffles* . Now onto chapter 11! WHOOTTTTT! **

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! ALL CHARACTERS AND PLOT…ect BELONG TO THE TOTALLY AWSOME STEPHANIE MEYER ! heeheee I always laugh at what people put in here BUT, REGARDLESS I AM MERELY BORROWING HER CHARACTERS FOR MY OWN AMUSEMENT!**

**ENJOY! **

**P.S. Anything in **_Italics_** is content taken out from Breaking Dawn and is merely formatted to better sustain the thought process so I don't stagger from the plot line *which I have a habit of doing* ^.^ **

**P.S.S. I had my own series of New Moon when my edward left me fore some other girl but he spent a good month begging before I took him back (: *sigh* Now my life is in the eclipse stage! Whoop! (: **

Breaking Dawn

Book 2

Bella

**Goodbyes. **

_"Oh. Ugh._ Please_, Jacob."_ I rolled my eyes, _"You think I should kill me baby and replace it with some generic substitute? Artificial insemination?"_ I nearly barked at him now. _"Why would I want to have some stranger's baby? I suppose it just doesn't make a difference? Any baby will do?" _

No baby would ever fill the space this baby had consumed in my heart.

_"I didn't mean that."_ He mumbled softly, almost as if he were embarrassed. _"Not a stranger."_ He clarified.

Confused and suspicious, I leaned in closer, _"Then what are you saying?"_

_"Nothing."_ He back-tracked, _"I'm saying nothing. Same as ever." _

Liar, _"Where did that come from?"_ I narrowed my eyes in accusation.

_"Forget it Bella."_ He sidestepped my question.

I frowned and my suspicion increased, _"Did _he_ tell you to say that_?"

He hesitated and immediately I had my answer. Yes, he did.

_"No."_ He testified.

_"He did, didn't he?" _

_"No, really. He didn't say anything about artificial whatever." _Jake protested.

I knew he was telling the truth about that. He might not have said anything about artificial but I knew what he was playing at. I sighed, emotionally drained and defeated and stared off into the distance.

_"He would do anything for me. And I'm hurting him so much…" _I knew this. I had accepted this but I knew my deep in my heart I wasn't okay with it. _"But what is he thinking? That I would trade this"—_I stroked my swollen belly lovingly—_"for some strangers…" _I felt the tears spring to my eyes as I muttered the last part. I wondered minutely if Jake could decipher the mush tumbling from my mouth. The thought, though somewhat important, got lost in the depths of more stressing heart-crushing thoughts.

Why would Edward ever believe I would trade him for someone else? He was something so unbelievably easy to detach from my grasps. This baby, although the symbol for my inevitable death, or at least my forthcoming change into immortality, wasn't exchangeable.

Jake broke my train of thought breaking the melancholy silence, _"You don't have to hurt him." _He whispered promisingly. _"You could make him happy again, Bella. And I really think he is losing it. Honestly, I do." _

Part of me listened to Jake, pleading with the other half of my mind to understand him but the other half refused to compromise, drawing lazy circles around my belly. I let my mind trail off in wonder of how different life for me would have been had Edward not come back. Had he stayed away, like he had disturbingly promised, I knew I wouldn't be in this situation. Yet again I knew that deep down I wouldn't ever have been able to give every bit of myself to Jacob. It was impossible when every part of me that he should be allowed to love was lost forever in the grasp of my lover that had abandoned me.

I felt myself drift off back to Jakes

"_Not a stranger?" _I felt myself mumble. From the corner of my eye I could see Jacob flinch.

"_What exactly did Edward say to you?" _I inquired in a low voice.

"_Nothing. He just thought you might listen to me." _Jake said his voice a little too innocent.

"_Not about that. Try again."_

My eyes locked onto Jakes and I knew that he knew that I knew. If that made sense.

"_Nothing." _

How could it be? How was it possible? Jacob Black…Jake... My best werewolf friend wanted me to conceive _HIS CHILD!_ For a moment, I entertained the thought. I imagined what it would be like… Suddenly I had the urge to vomit conceiving his child meant two things I was very uncomfortable ever doing.

One. I would have to kill this child that meant more to me then I could already comprehend. I knew deep down I couldn't ever allow for that to happen.

Two. I would have to have….sex…with Jake.

My mouth fell open. _"Wow."_

It was silent for a minuet or two as I let the initial shock of Edwards decisions sink in. It was ironic. Edward, who had always been repulsed at the idea of Jake and me together, was asking Jacob to…

I shook my head in silent awe, _"He really would do _anything, _wouldn't he?" _

_"I told you he was crazy. Literally, Bells."_

I felt a small smile play across my lips, _"I'm surprised you didn't tell on him right away. Get him in trouble." _

I could feel Jakes eyes return to my face and I saw his lips twitch in a poor excuse for a grin.

Despite my indefinite no, I knew what Jake was really trying to fulfill and I was still happy for the offer. No matter how insane it was.

_"There isn't much you wouldn't do for me, either, is there?" _I whispered. _"I really don't know why you bother. I don't deserve either of you." _

_ "It makes no difference, though, does it?" _

_ "Not this time." _I felt myself sigh. _"I wish I could explain it to you right so that you would understand. I cant hurt him"—_I paused pointing my index finger to indicate exactly who I was referring to at the time— "_any more then I could pick up a gun and shoot you. I love him." _

The tears in my eyes that threatened to overspill the brim of my eyelids multiplied and I could feel a single lone tear trace the curve of my hot cheek.

_"Why do you always have to love the wrong things, Bella?" _Jacob mumbled.

_"I don't think I do." _

I saw Jakes eyes harden and I heard him clear his throat before me spoke. _"Trust me." _

Before I couldn't comprehend what he meant by that, Jacob started to get to his feet.

_"Where are you going?" _I protested. I needed him here.

_"I'm not doing any good here."_ Jacob argued.

I could feel my heart start to clench into a tight fist. I just needed Jakes support. I needed him here for me… for my little nudger. I held out a weak thin hand in a pitiful attempt to grab onto him as if my action alone could make him stay.

_"I don't belong here. I've got to get back." _

_ "Why did you come today?" _I asked my hand still stretched out to him.

_"Just to see if you were alive. I didn't believe that you were really sick like Charlie had said." _

Those words alone did enough damage but my mind, the side that still craved jakes presence contradicted me telling me that he still cared whether I was alive or not… at least from the packs perspective he did. But I didn't care about that I cared about what my best friend thought, what my brother thought.

_"Will you come back again? Before…" _I couldn't will myself to speak the words to him as if they alone would break the fragile connection I held left with him.

It didn't work.

_"I'm not going to hang around and watch you die, Bella." _

I flinched and my heart squeezed uncomfortably tighter pain welling in my chest, _"You're right, you're right. You _should _go" _I knew the only reason I was really saying this was for Jacobs own benefit. I knew he wanted me to let him free.

My heart gave one last final squeeze as Jacob headed for the door. In a pitiful last attempt I managed to squeak out, "_Bye. Love you, Jake." _

The pain in my chest all but disappeared when he froze in his tracks and I didn't have to be Edward in that moment to know that he was one second away from turning around and coming back to me. But devastatingly I saw him place a foot in front of the other as he reached out and gripped the handle to the door muttering, for what I was sure to be the last words he would ever speak to me, _"Sure, sure," _he mumbled in his half-heartedly tone as his body disappeared behind the front door.

**Author's Note: WHEW! That took longer then I had intended it to! Lol leave me a comment of your thoughts they reallyyyy aree appreciated! I don't care what it is the good the bad or the ugly let me know how I could improve it! Anything in particular you wish to see in the upcoming chapters? Let me know. (: **

**Forever, VLA17. **


	12. Chapter 12 Nightmares

**Author's Note: Against many peoples belief, I am continuing the story. (: Sorry for the delay. I have been on vacation most of the summer. :/ But, regardless of my excuses, I'm back and ready to write! So without any more of my further babble, here's chapter 12 of **_Breaking Dawn the Unwritten Book. _

**DISCLAIMER: ****I don't own anything involving breaking dawn, eclipse, new moon, or twilight. All literature is under copyrights of Stephenie Meyer. **

Breaking Dawn

Book 2

Bella

**Nightmares.**

My heart gave itself a tight squeeze as the door gave a finial click, signifying that it was shut. A lone tear traced down the side of my cheek and I could already feel my pulse picking up as my breathing grew ragged. I looked up from where I sat hunched over, my heart aching with agony. If only I could make the pain go away. But, that was impossible when nothing made sense anymore.

I ached for Alice to come see me. I needed her to replace the gaping hole in my chest like she had when, not so long ago, Edward had left me.  
Just like that, the flood gates opened and I was a mess. My eyes were diluted by my tears, my breathing was erratic, and my weak hands, one still hovering over my child—not trusting that they wouldn't kill him and the other was over my mouth as if to smother the noise from them.

Ha, smother the noise from vampires. I really was delusional.

I found myself growing tired almost instantly; my body just couldn't handle all the stress. I looked up to meet a pair of beleaguered pitch-black eyes that only held a slight trace of gold. Edward. I sighed, letting my head slump forward onto his shoulder. I was beat.

Edward didn't say a word; he only lightly wrapped his arms around me. He was careful to avoid my ever-growing bump as his thumb rubbed soothing patterns against my over-heated skin.  
Even though he was considered the enemy at the moment, I didn't care. I leaned over, careful not to disturb or cause harm to my little EJ, who from my guess was probably taking a nice nap, and let my self breathe in Edward scent. I sighed, remembering all the times he held me close as we stared into each others eyes.

I kissed his cheek lightly before I moved over to whisper into his ear, "I missed this."

Edward didn't say anything. He didn't have to; I already knew he missed this too. But, thankfully he confirmed what I already knew by taking my cheek into his hand lightly and brushing over my lips gently with his thumb. Suddenly, Edward froze in mid-stroke, and I saw his eyes narrow slightly before they regained their usual stance. I felt my eyebrows lift in question. However my heart was yet again in a fist. I mean, we were married but was Edward repulsed by me because I was _pregnant_?

There was a long moment of silence as I felt Edward stare into my eyes knowing, no matter how hard I tired, that he'd find the worry and hurt there.

"It's not you," Edward promised his voice quick with rebuff, "or the… _baby_."

I smiled at Edwards's term because I knew it was a forced thing for him to respond to our child as anything other then a monster that was intent on sucking the life out of me. I mean that was _his _view on the topic,_ I_ however had different beliefs.

Edward spoke again breaking off my inter-monologue, "Jasper and Emmett need to speak with me about when I'm going to hunt. I'll only be a moment." He promised.

I nodded, understanding. I silently prayed that he would listen to his brothers and go hunt. His eyes were almost as dark as the day I had first met him in biology class. I knew if he kept denying himself much longer it wouldn't be long before he snapped.

When I was contemplating on how much longer I had left before he wouldn't be able to come near me, Edward leaned down and gave me a very chaste kiss before he flew at vampire speed out the front door.

The second that Edward was away from my body Rosalie appeared next to me with today's new concoction that was supposed to "help me", ginger snaps. Hesitantly I bit of the end of one. It didn't taste so bad; I took a little bit of a bigger bite and instant nausea. Good thing vampires have good hearing because I was sure Rosalie could hear the food leaving my stomach. The next thing I new a metal bowl was in front of my mouth as the warm liquid poured out.

When it was over, Rosalie gave me a half smile for trying it and handed me a clean towel to wipe my mouth clean with and a small glass of water to sip. While I was sipping my water I began to feel sleepy again Rosalie came over next to me knowing my over-heated body wouldn't last long without some cooling off. She gently stroked my hair as I drifted off towards sleep.

In my dream Edward was standing next to me in what appeared to be a playground. He smiled and laughed at something I couldn't see. Curious I turned to meet a pair of emerald eyes, the kind I knew Edward had before when he was human. The eyes were framed by Edward's thick bronze hair that, every-so-often would fall into his precious round cheeks. The little boy gave me a big smile showing teeny-tiny teeth.

"Mommy!" the little boy's voice filled the air as he ran to me. Instantly, as if more instinctual then anything, I picked him up and swung him around in my arms. My baby.

When I stopped spinning I gave him a kiss on his cheek and muttered into his little ear very softly as if he were made of glass, "I love you."

My wrapped his arms around my neck, "I love you too mommy."

I felt tears fill my eyes, before I felt Edward wrap his arms around me and EJ both.

"I love you both," Edward promised to both of us. I smiled at him and gave him a long kiss.

"_Ewwieee,_" EJ whined.

Edward and I both laughed at him before giving him both kissed on each cheek. But, stupidly, I blinked, and just like that I felt a slight tugging sensation on my arms and EJ was gone.

My heart felt like it was dying, my lungs couldn't breathe in the air, like it was too shallow to stay in my body. No! Not EJ… Not my little baby.

I screamed, but my voice went out to deaf ears. Edward held me back as I tired to run after the gray cloak that was carrying away my crying child.

The gray cloak, which even in my sleep I knew to be the Volturi, handed my screaming child over to the pack and my baby now rested in Jacobs's arms. Jacob was going to kill my baby.

I gasped and Jakes eyes met mine.

I awoke with a start._ Jacob_, kill my baby? Never. But my mind persisted on showing me his recent visit and our fight. If…If Sam felt that the pack needed to protect the citizens of Forks from my baby… Jake… No.

When I came back to reality, my eyes met seven pairs of very worried faces. Each held a different pose around the room. The only thing that matched about each of them was that their eyes were all fixated on me.

"Bella honey," Esme called for me from the opposite side of the bed from Edward, Rosalie was right behind him.

"Are you okay sweetheart? You were crying in your sleep. We thought you were in pain so Carlisle decided to give you some pain meds." She said her voice filled with worry for me.

"I'm… fine." I reassured her, but my gaze couldn't help but land on the fresh IV that was hooked into my hand. I winced, slightly.

The rest of the night was spent in silence, since they all were preparing for me to fall asleep even though it never did happen with my new weird sleeping patterns. The only conversation was between me and Rosalie on baby names.

"How about Jared?" Rosalie offered.

My face twisted a bit. "I don't know Rose. _Jared_? Don't we already have Jasper? It's a little too close. Besides, I still like EJ." I smiled.

Rose sighed, "Yes but what about middle names?"

"Anthony?" I offered, smiling.

"_Anothny?_" Rose repeated.

"Yes, Anthony. After Edward's middle name."

"Everything's about Edward with you." Rosalie huffed.

"While I did marry him and he is going to be the farther and the biggest benefactor, I'm sort of in love him, so that might have something to do with it."

"No need to be snippy with me I just didn't understand why you were all about naming him after his farther. I would make him be named after whatever_ I_ wanted"

I rolled my eyes at Rosalie. "It is what _I want_."

She huffed, "So what if it's a girl."

I smiled at her, "There's no need to go down that path because it won't be a _girl_."

"You never know," Rose countered.

I just let her rant. I was too tired to fight with her anymore. Even if it was pretend fighting.

Later on everyone settled in my room to give me the news. My jaw dropped when they told me Jake had quit the pack and run off because he wouldn't go through on killing me. Inside me, I knew Jake couldn't do it. In the dream he just looked at me, his eyes torn. Now, I knew his decision.

After I learned of Jakes rebellion, I found out about Seth too.

"_Aww_," I complained, "They shouldn't have…" I paused to let out a loud wet cough, but the cough surprised me and I nearly doubled over, "…done that for me," I finished weakly, my voice hoarse.

"Shhh, Bella." Esme's smooth voice soothed me, "Just sleep now, okay? You need your rest."

I nodded my head weakly. I was tired. So finally I let myself drift off to sleep.

Even if Jake did abandon the pack to protect me, he didn't need to be homeless because of it. I was about to mention it to Esme, but I found that by the time I was going to open my mouth I was already gone—lost in the wilderness and peace of my dreams.

**Author's Note: A bit of a filler chapter. Next, Bella's fight with Leah and its effects on her and did they find a cure to make everything better? Let me know your thoughts (: and how you think the fight with Leah and Bella should go about. **

**~VLA17**


	13. Chapter 13 Initiative

**Author's Note: I'm really sorry I delayed posting this. Excuses aside I finally mustered up the courage to finish this chapter! Please review and let me know what you think!(; For now ~VLA17. ENJOY! **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. Stephanie holds all rights. Twilight rules. **

Breaking Dawn

Book 2

Bella.

**Initiative**

I awoke to a commotion. Esme and Rose were both hovering over me, there stances wide. Everyone in the room seemed to be frozen in various stages of crouching, everyone, that is, but Edward. He kept his gaze out the window. Only one word went through my mind in that second, _Volturi_. After a moment, Edward spoke, "It was just Leah," he whispered in a monotone, his voice lifeless.

"She joined the pack."

I didn't realize I had been holding my breath that whole time until it gushed out of me. I smiled slightly, relieved that I didn't have to worry about dying, but fearful what the addition to the new pack would do to everyone's sanity. I hadn't died, I couldn't, at least, not before I could let my little nudger into this world.

If I did die, it didn't seem like a fair trade. While I would know that my little EJ was alive and well, thanks to Rosalie, I knew Edward would be too distraught with my death—and too focused on his own—to care at all for the baby. I gasped as a painful thought raced throughout my mind. What if, possibly, Edward would attempt to trade my life for our baby's? No. I couldn't let him. Besides, he knows how much I love this child. He would never…  
But then again, I never believed Edward was going to leave me. That same small pocket of doubt, made any chance of hope for survival I had, vanish. Edward knew he would protect my life at all cost, Volturi included. If he couldn't get to the baby while I was carrying it…could he, no, _would_ he kill him to protect me?  
I mean, it wasn't like I was worrying for nothing. Edward of all people was best known for being over-protective. Still, could he look into our baby's eyes and kill him? Could he kill the one thing I loved as much as he?

Well on the subject of my death my mind instantly went to Jake. How horrified Jake would be to find me dead. Although some part of my brain flashed back to the time I had told him of how soon my death would actually be.

"_You'd be better off dead. I rather you were."_ His words still stung.

I wished, for his sake, that he could find _the one_. I knew he was entrenched that that girl was me, but I knew otherwise. Jake deserved better then I could offer him. Even when Edward had left me, I knew that Jake didn't deserve what little I could give him. He was family to me; I could only love him a fraction of the love I could give Edward.

But, that was beside the point, I thought to myself as my body let out a series of coughs that made me double-over. Jake couldn't give up everything for me when it was obvious I had already avowed myself to Edward forever—death be damned.

Speaking of Edward, he shot me a look that could make any sane person within miles go mad. His eyes no longer held any trace of gold, now resembling something close to obsidian. I stared restlessly into his eyes, they brought back such memories. The first time I ever met Edward, his eyes pitch as black. The day Edward killed James, his eyes so full of hunger. The day when Edward was in Volterra, his eyes the deepest black I had ever seen, standing and waiting in the sun for his death…

I winced. I didn't like to remember that part of my life, especially now, when my faith in Edwards choice was ever-more insubstantial. My eyes instinctively dropped to the third finger on my left hand which was graced with Edward's mothers ring. I sighed and a small smile tugged at the corner of my lips. At least, for now. I still had that promise that I was his forever, even if I don't think he realized, until now, the huge mistake he was making.

Unconsciously, my breath had started to hitch and my hands had started to shake. Could he… could he really be regretting his choice? Did he really realize how much I would be set on becoming like him until it was too late?

Alice eyed me from the corner of my eyes and she smiled at me before shaking her head slowly. I sighed, the relief obvious. My body, which was already close to all but drained of energy, felt crippled. It was as if I could already feel my heart slowing, becoming more and more lethargic as it drew to its finial end.

During my mental banter, I saw Carlisle stand and walk out of the room. I eyed Alice who shrugged, good-for-nothing-pixie. As if she could read my mind she stuck her tongue out at me and I rolled my eyes at her. For two stressed-out people we both looked like a bunch of first graders.

After I while I began to grow restless—every part of my body was eager to see Jacob. Every cell ached to see his face, I would have begun to grow worried if the ache for Edward wasn't more over-powering.

However, much to my relief, I could hear Carlisle's and Jake's voices echo into the room.

"_Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo,"_ Jake mumbled.

I could hear Carlisle's responding laugh.

Both their voices paused as Edward rose out of his statue-like-pose and turned to me to begin speaking. _"I'll be right back, Bella. I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment. Actually, Rosalie, would you mind accompanying me?"___

Panic began to rise within me.

"_What is it, Edward?" _I asked, my voice hoarse.

"_Nothing you need to worry about, love. It will just take a second. Please, Rose?" _He pleaded with her.

"_Esme?" _Rosalie called to her, _"Can you watch Bella for me?" _

"_Of course," _Esme agreed.

They both gave me one last look as if I was so weak I would vanish without their gaze before they walked out of the room. I was hoping Edward would keep the keep the door open for me to hear. However much to my dismay he shut it right in my eager face. I let out a small moan of protest and sighed letting my eyes shut and strained my ears to hear their almost non-existent voices.

After of moment, I gave up.

Esme let out a small laugh at my measures to be apart of the conversation.

"It's not fair," I mumbled to her. "Everyone keeps leaving me out of the conversation."

Esme smiled at me and placed her hand feather-light against my cheek, "I know, dear. Soon, though, you will be so much stronger and happier. I can only hope that you can experience the happiness we hope for you."

I let my cheeks stretch wide as I smiled at her. "Thank you, Mom. I'm sure we will."

Esme's brilliant smile filled the air with joy and love. I started, patiently, at Esme's arm while I waited for everyone's talk to end.

Finally, I heard footsteps approach the door and I felt Esme stir next to me. The door opened to reveal Jake, everyone else had already filled the room. I could tell from Jake's hesitant face that something was off.

"_What's going on?" _I demanded, yet my voice betrayed me, making me sound weak and frail.

"_Jacob had an idea that might help you," _Carlisle said, _"It wouldn't be… pleasant, but—"_

"_But it will help the baby." _Rose interrupted, her voice upbeat with hope, _"We've thought of a better way to feed him. Maybe." _

I blinked. Well, what could be worse then an IV?

"_Not pleasant?" _I scoffed, _"Gosh, that'll be such a change." _I eyed the tube that ran under my skin with disgust and coughed again.

Rose laughed with me and I couldn't help but compare her silvery beautiful tone to my weak and whisper one. We were both so different, yet we both had the same goal—to get the baby I was carrying into the world alive,

Edward stepped around Rosalie and I breathed as deep as I could, filling my lungs with his scent that I had missed oh-so much. He gently took my hand, the one that had the I.V. in it since my other was carefully guarding my puffed up belly.

"_Bella, love," _Edward began and my heart almost skipped a beat at his loving tone. I had missed that voice very much. It was the Edward I used to know. Not before he left me, but before we ended up here; strangers even to ourselves.

"_We're going to ask you to do something monstrous… repulsive." _As he said this his face was impassive. Yet, hidden, deep within the depths of his eyes, I could see a flicker of hope. His eyes, no longer the holes with which I had grown accustomed to seeing, now held some life.

Even as I took in his features the words Edward had spoken began to sink into my head. Monstrous? Repulsive? How bad could it be?

I took a shaky breath, trying to gain courage, _"How bad?" _

This time Carlisle spoke in smooth cool voice; the perfect balm to my anxiousness, _"We think the fetus might have an appetite closer to ours then yours. We think it's thirsty."_

Oh. Of course, I should have realized the baby would take more after Edward's DNA then my own. But then if the baby was thirsty… I mean the only way a baby can receive full nutrition is through its mother… _OH. _

"_Oh. _Oh." I said.

"_Your condition—both of your conditions—are deteriorating rapidly. We don't have time to waste, to come up with more palatable ways to do this. The fastest way to test the theory—"_

I cut Carlisle off, _"—I've got to drink it." _I whispered my, head nodding in agreement at his unsaid terms.

_ "I can do that." _I agreed, _"Practice for the future, right?" _My lips stretched in a tight smile at Edward. He didn't smile back.

No one spoke at my response and I began to get annoyed at the only sound being 1, my breathing, and 2, Rosalie's impatient tapping of her foot against the floor. 

_ "So," _I broke the silence. _"Who's going to catch me a grizzly bear?" _

Carlisle and Esme exchanged worried looks and Rose stopped tapping her foot.

_"What?"_ I said, startled by everyone's uneasiness.

_"It will be more effective test if we don't cut corners, Bella." _Carlisle said.

Trying to help, Edward tried to explain it to me, _"If the fetus is craving blood, it's not craving animal blood."_

Then Rose decided to pitch in her advice as well, _"It won't make a difference to you, Bella. Don't think about it." _

My eyes widened in fear. Who would they kill to save me and my baby? Then again, I thought, who wouldn't I kill to save my baby? Well, Edward and my family but, that was beside the point.

_"Who?" _I whispered my voice tight with worry as my gaze flickered to the only other human in the room, or half human I should say,—Jake.

_"I'm not here as a donor, Bells. 'Sides, its human blood that things after, and I don't think mine applies—"_

Rose cut Jake off, probably annoyed at his ramblings, _"We have blood on hand for you—just in case. Don't worry about anything at all. It's going to be fine. I have a good feeling about this, Bella." _She reassured me, _"I think the baby will be so much better." _

I ran my hand, lovingly across my swollen stomach.

_"Well," _I began my voice still scratchy, _"_I'm _starving, so I'll bet he is too. Let's go for it."_ I smiled.

_"My first vampire act."_

**Author's Note: Sorry to leave you hanging, but I figured this was as any a good place to stop. On the bright side I am already on the first half of the next chapter! Sorry for those of you who wanted to see Leah and Bella fight it out, but sadly to say that doesn't come until AFTER the establishment of Edward's acceptance of the baby (I.e. he reads it's mind.) I am referring to the baby as an it for those of the people who are following along with the book and don't want any spoilers. **

**Reviews please! Let me know what you want to see! **

**VLA 17. **


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